Jackie wouldn’t admit how painful her fever felt. On the contrary. She smiled to put us at ease.

We didn’t pray for her to get better. I must have prayed for her as she seemed half asleep. 

In the morning, she gleefully exclaimed she doesn’t have a fever anymore, quite convinced that God listened to her wish. What a testimony of faith she is to me. She gives thanks wholeheartedly, she voices her concerns, and lists her displeasures. She is socially aware but she also knows and expresses herself with bravery. 

Jackie gets sick once a year, maybe twice, and it lasts a couple of days tops. Our fretting over her fever or discomfort is a sweet time of connection. We dig deep into our empathy and resources. She then lets herself be loved and soothed, and expresses the most endearing feelings of gratitude. 

Adoption. 

“We observe a certain indifference or reticence of the christian groups, including evangelicals, towards the idea of adoption. This reticence is determined by a few factors: lack of information, prejudices, selfishness, fear of subsequent difficulties, other people’s negative experience, indifference towards this reality, comfort, insufficient coverage of examples, othering (the human capacity to detach emotionally from those defined as others) the lack of an adoption theology etc.” [convergente]

I have felt all of the above. And more. Living in California, even as middle class, the cost of adoption was prohibitive. But we were rich enough in adventure currency, so we took the route of giving up the apparent financial stability and routine. 

So I couldn’t hastily judge anyone for fearing the adoption nebula. But while every story is different, I would urge anyone who believes in God to honestly ask for His guidance on the matter. Is your family able or willing to adopt? 

If we had been blessed with biological children, we most likely wouldn’t have embarked on this wonderful adventure of adoption. But to this day, I see that every hardship was a blessing in disguise. Now I can’t picture life unfolding any other way. 

We didn’t ask for such a wonderful daughter. She is such a gift! She gives me perspective and she gives me hope. 

Having experienced adoption, with its uncertainties, the discipline of the mind, and walking by candlelight, one step at the time, I have learned invaluable lessons about the gift of life itself. Undeserved, grace filled, openhanded. 

Adoption has a face and a name for me. One of many. This second time around I don’t worry if I would be able to love a child that already is. I know we would learn to love another. 

Conrad and I have been open to talk about adoption to any and all. But it feels it’s not enough.

Of course everyone decides in their heart first if adoption is something they want to open up to, but for sure, adoption looks a lot scarier from the outside or from far away.

There are thousands of children in need of parents, regular people who can do miracles through mundane love. But it’s not just about what they need. It’s mostly what we need and don’t even know it. We can and will make the world to be a better place. Let’s be ambassadors for a better world while using what we have and what we know.

So, as I see my prayers be answered in the most specific ways, when I pray not for myself, I am moved to pray for open ears and doors to be an ambassador for adoption.