Cathartic journaling of an adoptive mom.
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The day I yelled at a stranger
In the parking lot, trying to drop Jackie off for camp, on our way to start our conference serving Ukrainians. It was a hot Sunday, and I was going to give the main talk to an uncertain number of attendees. Needless to say, we were on edge and we didn’t even know it. The drop-off…
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Secondary trauma – SALT reflection
People who have cared for refugees, who serve so selflessly still, even if they take days to refresh and refocus on their own family, they are touched by secondary trauma. We are by nature empathizers. We are motivated by other people’s needs and fueled by an unexplainable love and connection. Since the war began, we…
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Dealing with disappointment
There is a time to wallow in disappointment and there is a time to act. I first do what needs to be done to fix the issue, to solve a problem as far as it depends on me, and then the reality hits me and I cry my eyes out. We had already sent the…
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Ivy’s plea
Conrad took his parents on a last hiking adventure beyond our garden in the woods. It’s Friday. The days are hot, but not before 10AM. The mornings are beautiful cool, or warm, or breezy. The type of temperature you want the time to stand still in. On their way back they stopped at our storage…
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Why am I still here?
We put our big luggage through and passed the security checkpoint when we learned that our flight was cancelled. I still thought there was a way we could find a feasible solution to our travel plans. Our week in the south of france, by the pool, eating fruit, sipping wine. Chatting. The guys exploring the…
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Two weeks with family in Romania
Conrad was giving Rufus a haircut when we got a text from dad that they landed in Cluj and are through the security. I panicked. Their room was made, but the house was in disarray. And leaving in a rush left it in a worse disarray. We drove like maniacs, while following the rules. We…
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În prag de decizii
Am fost conștientă de lupta spirituală ce se dă în toate planurile Domnului pentru noi. În dreptul nostru am ales cu o minte limpede, cerebral, cântărit, și nu mereu mânată de emoții, deși au și ele rostul lor. Sentimentul de neliniște, de ne-împăcare, trebuie confruntat cu fapte, cu liste. Cum ar fi dacă merg mai…
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Nemulțumire
“De ce plecam mâine?” Vreau sa mai stam. Oftat adânc. Tremurat de buze. Uitat cu coada ochiului in podidit de plâns si tristețe. Anul ăsta așa e de fiecare data când mergem undeva nou. Fetele zic că atunci când sunt mari ele vor locui la hotel, că e mai frumos. Cineva face curat după tine.…
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Cum să facem bine alor noștri
Îmi suflec mânecile imaginare și pun masa. Aranjez prânzul copios pe platouri. Toată lumea mulțumită, fericită. Recunoștința tuturor Însă nu mă inspiră. Adică știu că-i bună mâncarea și-i bine primită, dar n-am făcut-o pentru laude și mulțumire. Astea, cum să zic, mă lasă rece. Când cineva se ridică și completează ceea ce fac. Strânge masa.…
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Learned disability
“Can you help me put my socks on?” Asks my eldest daughter nonchalantly, as we were getting ready to leave. I have made a mistake. But it’s not too late to fix. I have catered to her benign requests, more this last years that in the first years together. I have been told or I…
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First summer vacation day
The kids complain that they are bored. They play outside for a while, drawing on the pavement with chalk. We invite our neighbor’s kid for lunch. He accepts happily; as it’s summer, kids don’t visit each other indoors. So this is cool. They play with Lego, watch a movie, eat lunch together, drink Limonade. Our…
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Unidimensional
Over the last month I have spoken at three different conferences that were televised, and I had a live interview over zoom, with a wonderful conversationalist, the director of a radio station. We’ve had some similar appearances on adoption day, through ARFO or I spoke at their summit or book launches. More people start to…
