Cathartic journaling of an adoptive mom.
Latest Posts
-
Regulate – Relate – Reason
I heard a scientist who studied trauma talking about the most effective way to connect with our kids, especially for educators who unknowingly deal with kids who suffered trauma. Before we jump to reason with them (the way we do with healthy adults) we need to help kids regulate (breath, feel calm, feel safe –…
-
Be unoffendable
Leaving a church is messy. You may not leave behind the people, the people you still very much love. But your departure may seem like an abandonment, even though for you it was an escape. A spiritual and emotional freedom. I inherited from my mom a dose of healthy humility that safeguarded me from taking…
-
Tending to our marriage
The summer vacation began with anticipation. Mom and dad were coming to visit. After a spring full of conferences and speaking engagements, music school, driving everyone with a busy schedule, wrapping up home projects, and planning our summer events, it felt like we never took a break to breath. Conrad gets pretty bad headaches most…
-
Authority
Have you ever had a teacher without authority? Or a boss without authority? It’s uncomfortable, it’s chaos, it can be scary. Authority doesn’t mean forceful, unmovable. On the contrary. It’s reasonable, wise. And genuine authority is not something we muster up. Knowing God and understanding our mandate, we rise to the occasion to protect, to…
-
MOPS – garden party
Last fall I was busy preparing an ARFO event: the launch of a book. I came alone to the first meeting @mopscluj Then I was invited to be part of the team, and to translate materials as needed. I didn’t know what to say yes to. But it was like a mustard seed. Small. Insignificant.…
-
It has been a marathon week
A blessed marathon of embracing others, listening, encouraging and getting inspired. We broke bread with strangers who became dear friends. We shared stories and then sat in silence together, to let the truth sink in. Our week of SALT was layered, with local initiatives and visits to new and old friends in other cities who…
-
The day I yelled at a stranger
In the parking lot, trying to drop Jackie off for camp, on our way to start our conference serving Ukrainians. It was a hot Sunday, and I was going to give the main talk to an uncertain number of attendees. Needless to say, we were on edge and we didn’t even know it. The drop-off…
-
Secondary trauma – SALT reflection
People who have cared for refugees, who serve so selflessly still, even if they take days to refresh and refocus on their own family, they are touched by secondary trauma. We are by nature empathizers. We are motivated by other people’s needs and fueled by an unexplainable love and connection. Since the war began, we…
-
Dealing with disappointment
There is a time to wallow in disappointment and there is a time to act. I first do what needs to be done to fix the issue, to solve a problem as far as it depends on me, and then the reality hits me and I cry my eyes out. We had already sent the…
-
Ivy’s plea
Conrad took his parents on a last hiking adventure beyond our garden in the woods. It’s Friday. The days are hot, but not before 10AM. The mornings are beautiful cool, or warm, or breezy. The type of temperature you want the time to stand still in. On their way back they stopped at our storage…
-
Why am I still here?
We put our big luggage through and passed the security checkpoint when we learned that our flight was cancelled. I still thought there was a way we could find a feasible solution to our travel plans. Our week in the south of france, by the pool, eating fruit, sipping wine. Chatting. The guys exploring the…
-
Two weeks with family in Romania
Conrad was giving Rufus a haircut when we got a text from dad that they landed in Cluj and are through the security. I panicked. Their room was made, but the house was in disarray. And leaving in a rush left it in a worse disarray. We drove like maniacs, while following the rules. We…
