Category: Spiritual
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My experience was different
And there’s no better time to speak up than when the balance seems tilted in my favor. To be honest, in High-school I’ve witnessed the sexual harassment of my colleagues. The perpetrator was a teacher. Somehow I’ve dodged that bullet. Frankly I can easily pull off and mean look. I can easily give that vibe…
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A date and a confrontation of self
…waiting in line to get a cup of coffee to go, on a Sunday afternoon. I kept a good attitude, light, grateful. We hadn’t planned our date. We never do. Therein lies out trouble. we walked aimlessly, from establishment to establishment, just to move on empty handed. We have barely scraped the surface of reconnection…
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Did she love me?
My daughters haven’t asked quite yet, this question about their bio mom. But all older adoptees have wondered this very thing. Some verbalize the question. Some are hunted by it. I met the other day with an adoptive mom whose daughter is 15 and who is a believer. Around age 8, her daughter asked her…
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humor and perspective
I went in to tidy up the girls room, and saw short black hair on ivy’s bed. I thought in might be Rufus’ and I brushed it off. But as I picked up more stuff, I saw chunks of other type of hair everywhere. And the Disney princesses mixed about the carpet. I thought they…
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Deep silence
For months I felt like I can’t focus, my mind being called in too many directions. It is my first day alone in this house. And I love it. The dryer hums in the background like with a soothing productivity sound. We left the house before sunrise. We first dropped Conrad off at the hospital…
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Surgery
Monday school started. Jackie got fitted for the new scoliosis brace in the afternoon. Conrad met with an urologist surgeon at the same time, to discuss next steps. Tuesday we had a parent teacher conference in the afternoon. In the morning I took care of irs type papers for romania. And this evening we got…
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Blessing from the rabbi
For Conrad, adapted from Psalm 61 Hear our cries, O God,listen to my prayer;from the end of the earth we call to youwhen my heart is faint.Lead Conrad to the rockthat is higher than he is,for you have been his refuge,a strong tower against the enemy.Let Conrad dwell in your tent forever!Let Him take refuge…
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Our journey
After 9 years of remission, this week the doctors discovered two tumors on Conrad’s remaining testicle. He is undergoing tests and we are waiting for results.Ah, the liminal space… Where God moves closer to us. — Pain. Mental. Physical.The catalyst of closeness Bravely carryinga separate shareof burden and worry One silly, one silent, two chatty.A…
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Intense day
I spent the morning with the girls getting blood drawn and seeing a variety of doctors for a routine checkup. Meanwhile Conrad was checking on some recent discomfort. Nine years ago, in 2012 we were entering a whirlwind of emotions when conrad was diagnosed with cancer and rushed into surgery. One testicle was removed. In…
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Second mothers event in Cluj
I was subtly assigned the host role for a very special event, for adoptive and foster moms. I am honored and anxious about it. If I put aside my self awareness and self induced humility, I bravely pull up my sleeves and do what needs to be done, without overthinking it. My saving Grace is…
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Funk transition
I’m in a creative funk. Being social for me takes some creativity, some lightness of mind and heart. I would much rather put my head down and plow a field, work hard. Quietly. I am a storm of tidying up in my house and sometimes I enlist the help if others, as my drive is…
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The practice of humility
I know the theory. Too well. But my stubborn heart has a hard time embracing humility. I know I’m mostly right (in my eyes) and I won’t budge. Except today. It’s Friday. I have a lot on my plate. I registered jackie for music school in the morning. We moved the drier from the apartment…