Category: Parenting
-
Daughters
Today’s poems (in Brian’s Bible study of the book of Mark) inspired me. I never questioned my identity as a daughter. My father couldn’t hide his pride in us, to the nourishment of our soul (and the slight frustration of my humble mom).I felt loved and seen and delighted in. As I adopted two daughters,…
-
Capacity for friendship
I believe my capacity is quite limited. But then, as I count my friends, I find I have too many. In different stages, we’ve expanded our social groups. As our friends also outgrown their stage in life, everyone gently moved away, like icebergs drifting, but not with sadness or disappointment but with ease and serenity.…
-
Children & apologies
You’ve got to let them come to you. This year with Jackie has been like that. Give her space. Be available. She’ll come to you. I love the teenage years, challenging as they may be. She is maturing under my own eyes and we are building a strong relationship. She is curious and challenges the…
-
Embracing peace
Growing pains – letting kids try imperfectly. Whoever finishes last Conrad set an impromptu rule that he/she does the dishes. Jackie did them yesterday. And she did them well, to my delight. Tonight Ivy did the dishes, and even cleaned the food cacher. I decided not to get mad anymore. I used to think that…
-
Anger as a gift
I did not get angry before becoming a mom. I felt angry but I didn’t give in to this feeling. It wasn’t necessary. There was no place or use for it. I was never wronged in such a way to cause me to call out my anger and use it as a shield. On the…
-
Intentional noticing
Today’s lesson was about housework and good observing work. How come a mom’s mental load is so heavy? Because she is so good at observing what needs to be done. I heard a mom’s story about using this phrase and the effects of it. And when traveling, when her kids used the public bathroom which…
-
Perseverance
As I write about everything that moves me, I wish I took better writing classes. I wrote lame poetry as an early teen, and my literary interpretations in school were better than average, and yet, I feel that there is an untapped wisdom and creativity in writing. And though I practice, i don’t know how…
-
Permission
“Who told you, you can do this?” I ask my 7 year old, taken aback by her actions. “I told myself” she answered with an obvious “duh!” confident voice. I also think through every situation fast. I do. But I find myself in her predicament often. I do decide for myself even when it’s borderline.…
-
Studiu de caz. Paralelă.
Am citit în doua zile cartea “The tipping point”. Punctul de cotitură, într-un fel. In 1960 pe o insula din Sudul Pacificului, in Micronezia, un băiat de 17 ani s-a sinucis pentru ca tatăl lui l-a gonit de acasă când acesta nu a reușit sa facă ceva. In mesajul lui de rămas bun i-a mulțumit…
-
Therapeutic retrospection
The girls wanted to watch old videos of themselves. I indulged a trip to the past that lasted an hour. We nearly peed our pants laughing. We watched videos from their first days with us and the few years later. Them playing, us together and mostly regular life at the apartment. Those first years seemed…
-
Outer world vs inner reality
I have two very different kids. One is in my face. The other one is very reserved. I have learned to engage with the outspoken one, who is so different than me. It challenged and changed me for the better. What shall I do with the one whose personality is too similar to mine? You’d think…
-
Gender identity
My 11 year old daughter asked two girls she didn’t know, who were waiting in front of the bathroom at the conference, if the bathrooms were all occupied. They answered with “this is the girls bathroom”. My daughter only responded with “I know”. She wanted to cut her hair short to be cool, different, and…