Category: Parenting
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Letting go early
What if I can’t give her what she needs? this question became heavier as I took more responsibility for things that are out of my control. I tend to shake off friendships who put too much pressure on my opinion, my approval. The world shouldn’t depend on me to function. on a few occasions friends…
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My take on depression
As an adolescent I had no time to be depressed. I used every opportunity I felt weepy to cry to God. No wasted tears. I didn’t rebel. I spent ample time reading and introspecting. My husband makes fun of me for being a perfect child. Laugh all you want. But my demon was fear. Most adults…
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Guilt
There is this one burden. Guilt. Guilt that I may not be a good enough parent. And the fear that I may not climb out of bitterness. I wrote a poem encapsulating my longing and belief and prayer, as I parent exhausted at times. — My dear daughter jackie Goofy, bright Your mind so hungry,…
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Traveling through layers of depression
I have traveled Through post adoption depression Gently and kindly kept safe By poetry and psalms. High highs and low lows Furry and numbness I have traveled through seasonal depression The never ending cold The wet and dreary weather Safely embraced and soothed by the listening ears I have traveled through pandemic depression Not alone …
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Time stands still
After a delicious lunch (pasta penner with ham, broccoli and white sauce) we had ice cream on the patio. It was peaceful. It was warm. And we acknowledged the blessing and the joy of the moment. It has been a long time since I felt this way. And my heart burst with gratitude. In the…
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an imitation game
At this stage kids are pretty transparent about emulating the people they love. A year ago she wanted to wear pants like me. Or shoes like me. Today she was dead set on getting a haircut like me. We are aware that we influence our kids. Even subconsciously. I know courage is conscious. Hopefulness. Hard…
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Anxiety makes poor decisions
Acting out of fear, concern, worry, it’s not my comfort zone. It dawned on me that I have experienced a slew of unflattering yet real feelings. My emotional radar was being jammed by white noise. From outside and inside. I finally made the last payment on the house and a fog was lifted. Or better…
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About consistency and eye-contact
Don’t look into a child’s eyes unless you are ready to reflect back their greatness, delightfulness, potential… I have been so burdened, wrapped up, distracted last week that I don’t remember slowing down enough to enjoy and delight in my kids’ presence. I have corrected them plenty and scolded them some. On Tuesday I dropped…
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The Woman – interview
Violeta Altmann is an atypical mother, if we look at her in a superficial way and especially through the prism of generations raised in a conservative and closed Romania. Towards the end of college she traveled to the States with Work and Travel, in California and eventually ended up working for one of the most…
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Father’s Day
Nobody or very few people know that today Romania celebrates Father’s Day. Anyway, we did observe this special day with a hike. A 13.5 km hike. As we got in the car, he asked for his gift: “no complaining on his Father’s Day hike.” The girls agreed. Including me. We picked up yummy food from…
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The intertwine of parenting while having adult conversations
I’m developing a twitch. An eye twitch. The fear of interruption for some inane reason, is real. If the girls go to the bathroom, the moment they return to the room they have to tell me about their experience or confirm they washed their hands or share a thought they had on the pot. I…
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Parent meltdowns
In April, I had a meltdown. The girls wanted to sleep at the grandparents and I reluctantly let them. I’m not sure why I was reluctant. Alas, I needed some time to myself. Why would I categorize my emotional guard down as meltdown? Because I sobbed and sobbed without worrying about who hears me. And…