Peninnah

On Empathy Night I shared part of my story of forgiveness. I frankly couldn’t think of any story of reconciliation in my life, well-defined enough to make sense. But as we heard about what forgiveness is, a journey, a decision, it is not for the other person but for our own freedom. Forgiving is not forgetting, but it is remembering it differently. Doesn’t require an apology – not dependent on another’s repentance. 

The slew of people who have made comments about our not having kids, or asked questions that were not well filtered, who judged us, who talked with others about our childlessness… As I meditated at this long term ache, all the people who’ve caused us pain consolidated under one name, and I realized we could forgive easier and move on. 

Penninah (1 Samuel)

Your growing mouth
Your jabs and stabs
And your advice

Your sideway looks
Superiority
You made me cry

My husband’s love
Was it enough?
It was

But what about my womb
My future
The arrows of my youth

I cry out to the Lord
Not in despair
Nor bitterness

With open hands
Low to the ground
I plead for mercy

God only smiles
His perfect plan
Awaiting

He called us out
From the land of plenty
To a land of promise

To bless us richly
With more than one child
Two wonderful daughters

He stretched our tent
To give us further comfort

He calls our kids
from east and west
To fill our tent and bless us

The children of the barren one
Are more
Then all the children of Penninah