Author: Violeta
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Balm for the soul
We don’t lay such a heavy burden on our youngest daughter. Like a summer cool breeze, she rustles among us, with grace, love, kindness. Where does it all come from? How can she bless us more that we bless her? She’s been home full time for three weeks now. She verbalizes her adoption. Talks about…
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Dentist
We walk to the funky shaped rooftop building – The dentist office. We arrive 5 minutes early, as usual. Ivy is a chipper as ever. How wonderful for a follow up dentist appointment. Little did I know… Ivy had a black hole of premolar. Ever growing. All that Nutella for breakfast or desert after dinner.…
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Our first trip to the mountains
So many times we felt her absence. Even before we decided in earnest to adopt again, I wondered who are we having fun without. A strange yet vivid feeling. After two intense weeks of appointments and exhausting change, worry and noise, hard work and tears, Friday we decided to go to the mountains on a…
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Precious Jewels
“Lift up your eyes and look around; all your children gather and come to you. As surely as I live,” declares the Lord, “you will wear them all as ornaments; you will put them on, like a bride.”— Isaiah 49:18 God lives.I lift my eyes upAnd see the sun riseThe mountains bowtheir tallest peaks A…
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Worry grounded and lessened with facts
This morning I went on a trail of calls, to figure out where to make a pediatric orthopedic appointment. The COVID pandemic has caused chaos in the system. Surprisingly though, we managed to easily book an appointment today (a new necessary step in visiting any hospital given the pandemic) we arrived on time and saw…
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I dream of death
Jackie dreams of death.Her death. Our death. We carry heavy burdensOf painful changeOf life and love. There is sicknessto be dealt withAnd as I sit in the dentist chairUpholding my youngestShe is braveAnd sits still through the procedure She bonds with meAs I help herTo undergo the dental work Somehow she knowsIf for her long…
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Worry
Interesting trend. I feel overwhelmed. Pessimistic. I worry about the girls, their health. This week we had appointments every day. Monday the general practitioner, Tuesday the social worker visit, Wednesday the dentist, Thursday we go see an orthopedic specialist. Jackie appears to develop scoliosis, ivy’s ribcage is oddly shaped. This is a known issue, due…
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Every day is good and hard
She had a happy cheerful day today. We had visitors for pancakes. Visitors with kids. Friends well loved by both girls. We also had our visit from the State adoption agency. It was peaceful and friendly and low key. The same social worker evaluated us after we adopted Jaclyn. Ivy was a little more apprehensive.…
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“Why did you do that?”
This question doesn’t get real answers often. It’s like a rhetorical question, for kids. And I try not to ask it. But it slips our lips more often than I’d like to admit. Some of my eldest daughter’s actions baffle me. So the struggle is real. And sometimes she answers so insightfully that we can…
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A great day
The alarm clock went off at 5:40. It was already light outside, so we woke up before the alarm, and lingered in bed, in silence. Then Conrad went down, opened all the windows so the crisp breeze paired with the chirping of birds would refresh our senses. Then he started the coffee. He was planning…
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No two nights are the same
It will get worse before it gets better. We are in the thick of it. Exhausted physically and emotionally. Ivy was great the first 24 hours. She slept through the night. The first evening she only once said we should call her foster mom. Then she got back to playing. The night was sooth. She…
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Last night without Evelyn
I could see clear progress the last few weeks, before the court’s decision to entrust Evelyn to us for good. I honestly thought the delay was pointless and will do more harm than good. Especially now that we had developed a tight relationship with our daughter. I tried to be so efficient. It’s in my…