Month: December 2021
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A stretch of anxiety
As I sat too long in a heightened sense of caution, of outward and inward stimulation, even getting close to the cliff of worry makes me nervous. I used to thrive in the intense seasons. I felt pumped, keenly aware, driven, motivated and able to accomplish a lot. My footing is unsure now. A short…
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Simplified engaging American style
We went to church. It’s Christmas week, and quite the experience for ivy. Though initially they were going to go to Sunday school, the kids had a christmas pageant and our daughters stayed with us in second row center. It’s a Presbyterian church mom and dad go to. it was an engaging morning, with carols…
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Do you like having kids?
We were driving to a quaint Texan town down South. I was in the back with the girls, mom and auntie Halie. We were talking about the challenge of bedtime, that all parents struggle with. The hostage-like situation. The delay. And the obvious difference between how long it takes a dad vs. a mom to…
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To keep you safe
That is the prerogative of parents. It can be used a a safety rail in setting any and all relevant boundaries of time and space. parents don’t need to lie to protect their kids. Most of our decisions could fall under the safety category. And we can be honest about it. “I’d love to grant…
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Learning to respond
When adults around me lost their shit I would not engage. It was not the freeze from flight flight or freeze I would ride above it and observe the adult. Teachers got angry grandparents got angry neighbors got angry authority in general They called me a mute. But as a kid, I did what wise…
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Agency and character
My kids don’t belong to me. They don’t belong to their foster family. They are not bound to their bio roots either. My kids belong to God. And my purpose in their lives is to influence their character, to help them know and love their Maker. They have agency though. It’s God’s gift to humanity.…
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Fearless discomfort
I am part of #mopscluj and when I booked my ticket for America this winter, I took into consideration the date of the gathering, and booked my ticket out the following day. My tribe. I enjoy being alone. I can discern God’s voice and my calling, with clarity, unencumbered by so many variables. But as…
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About trust
Being trustworthy is something we build in time. It starts with our parents giving us responsibility according to our ability, and as we learn, as we become more able, agile, responsible, the trust grows. Our trust in ourselves. Our parent’s trust in us. But what a gift trust is! I have felt at times that…
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To have agency
We like to be rescuers even when we don’t like to rescue. In social science, agency is defined as the capacity of individuals to act independently and to make their own free choices. God gave us free will. Isn’t that great! Not just for us, but it takes the pressure off of us to convince our…