Cathartic journaling of an adoptive mom.
Latest Posts
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La ziua porților deschise…
O sală plină cu parinti de viitori școlari, si o doamna învățătoare calma, calda, si deschisă. Ne-a spus mai multe lucruri despre următorii 5 ani de școala, dar ce mi-a ramas in minte a fost mesajul clar ca prioritatea ei in primul an, pe langa startul academic, sa fie modelarea caracterului copiilor in comunitate. Caracter!…
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Like the watchmen before dawn
It’s cold. We are exhausted. But I am filled with renewed hope. The icy waves crush into the shore. We squint to see a sign of light into the sea of darkness. The wind is howling. It’s deafening and mesmerizing all at once. I love a howling wind in a winter night. How long till…
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What was hard during the first adoption
⁃ traveling back and forth twice a day ⁃ 3-4 hours in the car with a carsick child ⁃ Taking her back to the foster family in the evening, and hear her cry after us to not leave her ⁃ Mandatory Medical appointments for the adoption file – she is afraid of hospitals. ⁃ Physical…
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Two years
Two years since we started exploring adoption again Preparing Jackie, Observing her disposition and openness. Again, Conrad was ready first. Decisive. I stood my ground in prayer: To keep my mind and heart open To be patient and strong To walk the bureaucratic steps To put my trust in God And to adapt to the…
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Doi ani
Doi ani de cand am tatonat iar terenul adopției Pregătind-o pe Jackie, Cercetându-i dispoziția și deschiderea. Dar hotărârea a rămas a noastră. Din nou Conrad a fost gata întâi. Hotărât. Eu am rămas cu ruga: Să-mi țin mintea și inima deschisă Să am răbdare și putere Să parcurg pașii birocratici, Să-mi pun încredrea în Dumnezeu…
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I am a ship
My mast stands tallSails in the wind. Steady and deep in the water. I’m sailing my course.Since before I met you.Quietly. Imposing. My artist Builder Crafted me with precision. Every detail. Every test. Every touchup. — You are my captain. Under your careI glide. You love me.You bring color.You give direction.You are steady and brave. Determined and clear. I am a shipAnd…
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Rough parenting week
After Jackie twisted her elbow, we went spiraling down into emotional arrhythmia. We have had a pretty good streak before. Even that day, the day of the twisting, we went on a long hike in the woods with good friends, their kids and their dogs. It was cold but memorably good. We hiked for miles.…
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Retrospective – half a decade
5 years ago exactly, we took a leap of faith and we moved to Romania. A few suitcases full of our earthly belongings, but a heart full of courage and a mind full of dreams. I had to go away first, across the ocean, far from my comfort zone and familiar culture. To intertwine our lives…
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First ER visit on Saturday night
A tired girl and a moment of carelessness. After hiking all morning, we went to a birthday party. It was almost time to go home. We had already served the cake and sang happy birthday. Kids were playing hard and they were all sweaty. In comes jackie, crying hot tears. A kid bumped into her…
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Ce lecție să învățam?
După ce a venit de la școala, J. și-a dat seama că și-a lăsat dosarul în bancă. Își pusese geaca în rucsac, și dosarul nu a mai avut loc… Așadar eu dau vina pe toamna care-i prea caldă. În clasa 0 nu au teme. Uneori însă își aduc acasă câte o fișă de practică. Cu…
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A way through the wilderness
Two months ago I went to a meeting with a large number of families “in-waiting”. Single people and couples certified to adopt, waiting to be matched with an adoptable child. At the time, there were no kids in process of becoming adoptable. The week before I had caused some waves, documented on this blog, as…
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About trauma, gratitude and freedom
Lately, there is a lot of talk about trauma in the adoption environment. And it is good, because the subject has been silent for too long. Trauma is diverse, and everyone perceives it, lives and processes it differently. I’m not speaking from a professional point of view, but intuitively, as a human living among humans.…
