Category: Transition
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Iron sharpens iron
Oh my goodness. For a few months I got a little worried. My eldest daughter would so easily get on my nerves. We would butt heads, and we would disagree too often for my comfort. And every day was the same. We would find something to cause disagreement. The feeling of helplessness or feeling trapped…
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Did she love me?
My daughters haven’t asked quite yet, this question about their bio mom. But all older adoptees have wondered this very thing. Some verbalize the question. Some are hunted by it. I met the other day with an adoptive mom whose daughter is 15 and who is a believer. Around age 8, her daughter asked her…
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Surgery
Monday school started. Jackie got fitted for the new scoliosis brace in the afternoon. Conrad met with an urologist surgeon at the same time, to discuss next steps. Tuesday we had a parent teacher conference in the afternoon. In the morning I took care of irs type papers for romania. And this evening we got…
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Intense day
I spent the morning with the girls getting blood drawn and seeing a variety of doctors for a routine checkup. Meanwhile Conrad was checking on some recent discomfort. Nine years ago, in 2012 we were entering a whirlwind of emotions when conrad was diagnosed with cancer and rushed into surgery. One testicle was removed. In…
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Second mothers event in Cluj
I was subtly assigned the host role for a very special event, for adoptive and foster moms. I am honored and anxious about it. If I put aside my self awareness and self induced humility, I bravely pull up my sleeves and do what needs to be done, without overthinking it. My saving Grace is…
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Friendships ebb and flow
A few years ago I was left hurt and confused by a friend’s constant cancellation of plans last minute. At some point I reached out to a mutual friend considering an intervention to help her gain perspective and support for a better work life balance. It’s been tried. I was not the only one worried at…
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Idealizing the past
I visited ivy’s foster mom this week. I promised to stay in touch and I’m a woman of my word. This year has been busy with the new house, with medical appointments and with school, online and in person. I don’t know when and how much time flew by. Ivy even forgot to ask to…
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My take on depression
As an adolescent I had no time to be depressed. I used every opportunity I felt weepy to cry to God. No wasted tears. I didn’t rebel. I spent ample time reading and introspecting. My husband makes fun of me for being a perfect child. Laugh all you want. But my demon was fear. Most adults…
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Traveling through layers of depression
I have traveled Through post adoption depression Gently and kindly kept safe By poetry and psalms. High highs and low lows Furry and numbness I have traveled through seasonal depression The never ending cold The wet and dreary weather Safely embraced and soothed by the listening ears I have traveled through pandemic depression Not alone …
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Anxiety makes poor decisions
Acting out of fear, concern, worry, it’s not my comfort zone. It dawned on me that I have experienced a slew of unflattering yet real feelings. My emotional radar was being jammed by white noise. From outside and inside. I finally made the last payment on the house and a fog was lifted. Or better…
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About consistency and eye-contact
Don’t look into a child’s eyes unless you are ready to reflect back their greatness, delightfulness, potential… I have been so burdened, wrapped up, distracted last week that I don’t remember slowing down enough to enjoy and delight in my kids’ presence. I have corrected them plenty and scolded them some. On Tuesday I dropped…
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The Woman – interview
Violeta Altmann is an atypical mother, if we look at her in a superficial way and especially through the prism of generations raised in a conservative and closed Romania. Towards the end of college she traveled to the States with Work and Travel, in California and eventually ended up working for one of the most…