Category: Transition
-
Believe!
In my youth I was underestimated. It was so freeing! I was underestimated by people whose approval I didn’t absolutely need. That created some space between my heart and the hurt of distrust. My parents saw me and liked me and believed in me. Most other adults I suspected they didn’t have eyes for my…
-
The youngest as the only child
My brother left for college when I was 14. It changed my life. I was the quiet kid, self aware, peacemaker, never getting into trouble, walking lightly through the house. The four years I spent in the home of my parents without a sibling were transformative. I am very grateful for them. This week Ivy…
-
Not ready to launch
My eldest is having a sleepover with a friend. Ivy asked if she could join. Jackie agreed without skipping a beat. I loved her generosity and kindness. Evening came. I cleaned the girls room just because they weren’t home to mess it up with socks and stuffed animals, and was looking forward to a date…
-
Seasons
I was reading a post I wrote less than a year ago, about how difficult my relationship with my older daughter was. https://dordeacasa.altmann.haus/cerul-sigurantei-si-preadolescentii/ I entered into an apparent regression of cooperation, of organizational skills, of following several steps without the work of persuasion or reminding him. A persistent state of dissatisfaction triggers all kinds of…
-
Reflection on Brian’s Thursday question
Have you ever experienced a sudden insight or experience of God’s transformative grace when you were in a dark place?If so, what aspects of God’s character did you experience? Traveling far away to honor our parentsTo spend quality time of joy and celebrationAnd not come together when it feels too late for fun or connection…
-
Rugina
Din neveghere s-a atins rugina de mintea mea. Lăsată în ploaie, neadăpostită, necurățată… Totul părea în regula, dar în timp am început sa aud scârțâieli. Provocări, ispite, greutăți, nimeni nu este scutit. Ele vin și trec, și iar vin. Mai descurajată sunt când se repeta. Uneori am Impreza ca am plătit deja prețul și nu…
-
Refreshed
When the week feels repetitive and demanding, and the weekend is pre packed with social engagements, I get a bit anxious. Will I have the energy for it all? As my cup fills with good conversations, and the kids are included and present and easy going, I see old friends, we host our pastor from…
-
Idealizing the past
We slept in the same room. We had the loft, where it was so peaceful, sometimes eerily quiet. You could hear your thoughts rumble. And the girls had bunk beds below. At some point we had a two people couch. A Chesterton. Then we had Jackie’s desk. With the best natural light. Then this toy…
-
Hugs from Jackie
We have had a rough year. Actually the last three years were rough all in all. The moment we adopted Ivy, things changed. I was more tired, and she, my first daughter, pulled away. She never showed resentment toward the young sister. She adapted and tried. I also noticed her scoliosis the month after Ivy…
-
Am I the only one overwhelmed?
I posted a story on instagram, after weeks of radio silence, a picture of the traffic I was stuck in on my way home, stating that I feel life is unbearable with the absurd chase of appointments, and circumstances of life in this season. The road in constriction, music school as an extracurricular activity and…
-
Decision fatigue
I woke up with this phrase that truly defines why I feel so tired. Today both girls start going to school and I’m most excited that they won’t ask for my permission or opinion about anything. For 4 h/day each, they will ask someone else or listen to someone else. Yesterday mid day j asked…
-
Reset talk
I spent one weekend morning pouring my heart in my journal. It was cathartic to sort it all out. A few hours later Conrad asked me if I’m ok. I said I’m not. And we had a lengthy deep clarity giving conversation. I had started shutting down in the recent weeks. And it is dangerous…