I woke up with this phrase that truly defines why I feel so tired. Today both girls start going to school and I’m most excited that they won’t ask for my permission or opinion about anything. For 4 h/day each, they will ask someone else or listen to someone else. 

Yesterday mid day j asked if she can have ice-cream. Most often the answer is yes. And they love to reach for connection by asking questions and asking for permission. We can’t ignore them so it’s a sure bet to ask certain questions.

 Also, they never need to ask for permission to pick up a fruit from large bowl on the table. There is always fruit there. Yet, they still ask me: “can I get a banana? Is it ok if I make myself a smoothie? Can I eat an apple? 

Don’t get me wrong, I used to like it a lot that they ask for permission. But I am so tired of these simple questions that I already established the ground rules. I refer to them a lot. For example: Can I have a fruit? Can I go to the bathroom? Can I get a glass of water. Can I go ride my bike? 

-I don’t know. Can you? What do you think my answer would be for this question? 

My husband also checks in with me for big and small decisions. “What do you think about this or that?” 

I am so tired, I frankly don’t care so much to be included in any decision process that doesn’t concern me personally. 

I want people to snack on whatever they can (we only buy healthy enough snacks) wear whatever is clean, shower when they have time, eat from the fridge when they are hungry. Come to the table when it’s dinner time. If it’s within reach, go ahead and try it. Just don’t ask me what I think anymore.  I don’t want to think anymore. I don’t want to give permission. I am not a boss. I am just a tired mom, who taught them all well enough to go ahead and try some independence, and if need be, make some mistakes too, as the consequences provide further teachable opportunities.