Category: Parenting
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I don’t tiptoe
When it comes to adoption and trauma, or difficult conversations, or potential pain… I don’t tiptoe. I don’t hold my breath. Because it would be exhausting and a disservice. Instead I own my full seat, and I keep my mouth shut while opening my eyes wide. I allow myself to feel. To understand. To remain…
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La ziua porților deschise…
O sală plină cu parinti de viitori școlari, si o doamna învățătoare calma, calda, si deschisă. Ne-a spus mai multe lucruri despre următorii 5 ani de școala, dar ce mi-a ramas in minte a fost mesajul clar ca prioritatea ei in primul an, pe langa startul academic, sa fie modelarea caracterului copiilor in comunitate. Caracter!…
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What was hard during the first adoption
⁃ traveling back and forth twice a day ⁃ 3-4 hours in the car with a carsick child ⁃ Taking her back to the foster family in the evening, and hear her cry after us to not leave her ⁃ Mandatory Medical appointments for the adoption file – she is afraid of hospitals. ⁃ Physical…
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Rough parenting week
After Jackie twisted her elbow, we went spiraling down into emotional arrhythmia. We have had a pretty good streak before. Even that day, the day of the twisting, we went on a long hike in the woods with good friends, their kids and their dogs. It was cold but memorably good. We hiked for miles.…
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Retrospective – half a decade
5 years ago exactly, we took a leap of faith and we moved to Romania. A few suitcases full of our earthly belongings, but a heart full of courage and a mind full of dreams. I had to go away first, across the ocean, far from my comfort zone and familiar culture. To intertwine our lives…
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First ER visit on Saturday night
A tired girl and a moment of carelessness. After hiking all morning, we went to a birthday party. It was almost time to go home. We had already served the cake and sang happy birthday. Kids were playing hard and they were all sweaty. In comes jackie, crying hot tears. A kid bumped into her…
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Ce lecție să învățam?
După ce a venit de la școala, J. și-a dat seama că și-a lăsat dosarul în bancă. Își pusese geaca în rucsac, și dosarul nu a mai avut loc… Așadar eu dau vina pe toamna care-i prea caldă. În clasa 0 nu au teme. Uneori însă își aduc acasă câte o fișă de practică. Cu…
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Summit-ul ARFO 2019
O călătorie la București este întotdeauna copleșitioare. Am încercat să găsesc orice scuză bună pentru a nu merge la #ARFO2019, fără succes însa. Așa că m-am dus. Nu știam pe nimeni acolo. Am discutat la telefon cu organizatorii conferinței ARFO, și am simțit că trebuie să îi cunosc personal. Am fost atrasă de acest summit…
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Despre traumă
Se vorbește mult despre trauma in mediul adopției. Si bine se face, pentru ca prea s-a tăcut pana acum. Trauma e diversa, si fiecare o percepe, o trăiește si o procesează altfel. Nu vorbesc dintr-un punct de vedere certificat profesional, ci intuitiv, ca om care a trăit intre oameni. Si ca părinte adoptiv care încearcă…
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ARFO Summit 2019
A trip to Bucuresti is always daunting. I tried to find every good excuse not to go to #ARFO2019… to no avail. So I went. I didn’t know anybody there per se. I had talked on the phone with the organizers of the ARFO conference… so I had to meet them in person too. I…
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Seeking attention
Jackie and her friend banter. They have a through-and-through, six year old, genuine relationship. They are good friends and they speak their mind without holding back. It’s beautifully exhausting. For me at least, the consistent and leveled adult, who gets pulled in as a referee. They like each other and they annoy each other equally.…
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6th birthday and a file
The guests have gone. The house is quiet and clean. We celebrated Jackie’s sixth birthday with just a handful of friends. It was so good. Downsizing can be daunting. Because I have an issue with inadvertently excluding anyone. I go out of my way to put people at ease, though I’m not a people pleaser.…