Category: Parenting
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First ER visit on Saturday night
A tired girl and a moment of carelessness. After hiking all morning, we went to a birthday party. It was almost time to go home. We had already served the cake and sang happy birthday. Kids were playing hard and they were all sweaty. In comes jackie, crying hot tears. A kid bumped into her…
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Ce lecție să învățam?
După ce a venit de la școala, J. și-a dat seama că și-a lăsat dosarul în bancă. Își pusese geaca în rucsac, și dosarul nu a mai avut loc… Așadar eu dau vina pe toamna care-i prea caldă. În clasa 0 nu au teme. Uneori însă își aduc acasă câte o fișă de practică. Cu…
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Summit-ul ARFO 2019
O călătorie la București este întotdeauna copleșitioare. Am încercat să găsesc orice scuză bună pentru a nu merge la #ARFO2019, fără succes însa. Așa că m-am dus. Nu știam pe nimeni acolo. Am discutat la telefon cu organizatorii conferinței ARFO, și am simțit că trebuie să îi cunosc personal. Am fost atrasă de acest summit…
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Despre traumă
Se vorbește mult despre trauma in mediul adopției. Si bine se face, pentru ca prea s-a tăcut pana acum. Trauma e diversa, si fiecare o percepe, o trăiește si o procesează altfel. Nu vorbesc dintr-un punct de vedere certificat profesional, ci intuitiv, ca om care a trăit intre oameni. Si ca părinte adoptiv care încearcă…
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ARFO Summit 2019
A trip to Bucuresti is always daunting. I tried to find every good excuse not to go to #ARFO2019… to no avail. So I went. I didn’t know anybody there per se. I had talked on the phone with the organizers of the ARFO conference… so I had to meet them in person too. I…
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Seeking attention
Jackie and her friend banter. They have a through-and-through, six year old, genuine relationship. They are good friends and they speak their mind without holding back. It’s beautifully exhausting. For me at least, the consistent and leveled adult, who gets pulled in as a referee. They like each other and they annoy each other equally.…
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6th birthday and a file
The guests have gone. The house is quiet and clean. We celebrated Jackie’s sixth birthday with just a handful of friends. It was so good. Downsizing can be daunting. Because I have an issue with inadvertently excluding anyone. I go out of my way to put people at ease, though I’m not a people pleaser.…
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Birthdays
Slaves to fitting in, to the routine of birthdays, to one-up the year before. Simplifying takes a lot of energy. Definitely, I grew up with family birthdays, where the nicest thing was getting a cake from the cake store. I also remember birthdays being emotionally charged, as spirits were tense, and things came up. I…
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Raw
This last month, cleaning away the dirt, the dust, the unnecessary crud, I felt light, and present, and clear. But this nakedness of mind and of soul brings on a raw sensitivity to light, to pain, to hope and reality. I have a vivid imagination when it comes to danger. I always did. But I’ve…
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Conversation about sweets
Bye! I’m going to Bunica downstairs. Don’t come after me. I’ll return home at the perfect hour for lunch. Jackie, I have one request. No sweets today. Not even one bite. Yesterday you had chocolate and candy. Not one taste today. Ok. If Bunica offers, I’ll say “I’m not eating nothing!” Off she goes and…
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Conversation with a 5 year old while hiking
Jackie, there are consequences to your defiance and disrespect. You are old enough to reason with, so [for disobedience, lying or disrespect] we start taking away privileges: like the occasional cartoons or games, shopping sprees, sleepovers, sweets, independent play outside. I’m trying to teach you what’s good, and how to distinguish it from the bad. …
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Screens and addiction
That awkwardness when someone pulls out their phone and you sit like a dumb next to them. Resisting. A decade and a half ago I was that person. An introvert. I had bought an iPod nano after my summer in Silicon Valley, and as I came back to college, I would listen to music a…