Category: Parenting
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I dream of death
Jackie dreams of death.Her death. Our death. We carry heavy burdensOf painful changeOf life and love. There is sicknessto be dealt withAnd as I sit in the dentist chairUpholding my youngestShe is braveAnd sits still through the procedure She bonds with meAs I help herTo undergo the dental work Somehow she knowsIf for her long…
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Worry
Interesting trend. I feel overwhelmed. Pessimistic. I worry about the girls, their health. This week we had appointments every day. Monday the general practitioner, Tuesday the social worker visit, Wednesday the dentist, Thursday we go see an orthopedic specialist. Jackie appears to develop scoliosis, ivy’s ribcage is oddly shaped. This is a known issue, due…
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Last night without Evelyn
I could see clear progress the last few weeks, before the court’s decision to entrust Evelyn to us for good. I honestly thought the delay was pointless and will do more harm than good. Especially now that we had developed a tight relationship with our daughter. I tried to be so efficient. It’s in my…
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Surely God is with us
inspired by Isaiah 45:15 Fear has paralyzed my sensesCould these people interfere with our adoptionCould we lose our daughterJust out of spite?Would they? I kept reading your WordTo remember.You are for us.You are always present.Even when it seems you are hidingLike a Father in the parkWatching from safe distanceTo see what we doIn such a…
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Parenting paradox
Having a 3 year old around is energizing. I can see the irony in the above statement.We’ve welcomed the respite of peace and silence when jackie spends the day with the grandparents. But right now we long to have our kids with us. To drink up from the closeness, the snuggles, the music, the drawing…
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In her grief and longing, she worships.
Then Hannah prayed and said: “My heart rejoices in the Lord; in the Lord my horn is lifted high.My mouth boasts over my enemies, for I delight in your deliverance. “There is no one holy like the Lord; there is no one besides you; there is no Rock like our God. “Do not keep talking so proudly or let your mouth speak such arrogance,for the Lord is a God who knows, and by…
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Disobedience
Two more days of quarantine. Two more days until we can be reunited with our youngest daughter. Two more days until we begin a new chapter, transitioning from an “emergency state” to an “alert state”, whatever that means, since our ministers haven’t published clear guidelines for most institutions. We are busier than ever, and frankly…
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Hope ahead
Despite all this flexible time, do you feel spread thin? We nearly found a rhythm. Some even made the very best of this sheltering in place. Check out this perspective https://polylogos.eu/blessing-in-disguise/ I spend more than an hour (sometimes three) every day coordinating Jackie’s online school activity. Printing materials, checking her work, scanning, uploading it online,…
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Parenting nuggets
Yesterday I felt compelled to start a series of videos related to discipline, to family rules, and connecting with our children. They are one minute long and I first posted them on my personal instagram stories. I’m adding the first batch below. They are in Romanian, and they convey the message that a connected child…
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Intuition. Long distance.
Danger. I feel it so vividly. I believe my intuition is overly receptive. I’m an INTJ – borderline introvert, highly intuitive, and possibly I overthink things. Regarding intuition, often times, only in hindsight I connect the dots. But they always connect. When I sense the danger, I pray. I pray with all my strength. I…
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Ideation
Among my strengths, there’s ideation. Which can be overwhelming for others – so I filter a lot of my ideas of development and improvement. It had become increasingly painful to FaceTime every day with Ivy. By the way: Ivy sounded like Evé -> Romanian Ivi not Aivi. Honestly, how many interesting things can you talk…
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How is this quarantine affecting you?
Conrad and I are happiest away from crowds. We don’t have a TV and we don’t keep up with the news. So the pandemic was not on my radar at all, whatsoever. Until one morning when I found out from my social worker, during an evaluation visit for our adoption process, that the schools are…