Category: Parenting
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Love languages
While Evelyn is asleep, Jaclyn and I have the deepest conversations. She loves the philosophical chats. We’ve always connected talking. Hence our first book. Yesterday she asked about the book I’m reading now: “the five love languages”. We talked about each love language. And to my surprise, she recounted them all at the end. She…
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Prayer and people
How can a simple get together shift my perspective so much. We were 6 adults and 6 kids on a very generous back yard lawn. A few cats, a dog and toys. There was pizza and there were caveats of silence. All of us weigh our thoughts and words, our questions and curiosities. We find…
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Our first trip to the mountains
So many times we felt her absence. Even before we decided in earnest to adopt again, I wondered who are we having fun without. A strange yet vivid feeling. After two intense weeks of appointments and exhausting change, worry and noise, hard work and tears, Friday we decided to go to the mountains on a…
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Precious Jewels
“Lift up your eyes and look around; all your children gather and come to you. As surely as I live,” declares the Lord, “you will wear them all as ornaments; you will put them on, like a bride.”— Isaiah 49:18 God lives.I lift my eyes upAnd see the sun riseThe mountains bowtheir tallest peaks A…
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Worry grounded and lessened with facts
This morning I went on a trail of calls, to figure out where to make a pediatric orthopedic appointment. The COVID pandemic has caused chaos in the system. Surprisingly though, we managed to easily book an appointment today (a new necessary step in visiting any hospital given the pandemic) we arrived on time and saw…
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I dream of death
Jackie dreams of death.Her death. Our death. We carry heavy burdensOf painful changeOf life and love. There is sicknessto be dealt withAnd as I sit in the dentist chairUpholding my youngestShe is braveAnd sits still through the procedure She bonds with meAs I help herTo undergo the dental work Somehow she knowsIf for her long…
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Worry
Interesting trend. I feel overwhelmed. Pessimistic. I worry about the girls, their health. This week we had appointments every day. Monday the general practitioner, Tuesday the social worker visit, Wednesday the dentist, Thursday we go see an orthopedic specialist. Jackie appears to develop scoliosis, ivy’s ribcage is oddly shaped. This is a known issue, due…
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Last night without Evelyn
I could see clear progress the last few weeks, before the court’s decision to entrust Evelyn to us for good. I honestly thought the delay was pointless and will do more harm than good. Especially now that we had developed a tight relationship with our daughter. I tried to be so efficient. It’s in my…
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Surely God is with us
inspired by Isaiah 45:15 Fear has paralyzed my sensesCould these people interfere with our adoptionCould we lose our daughterJust out of spite?Would they? I kept reading your WordTo remember.You are for us.You are always present.Even when it seems you are hidingLike a Father in the parkWatching from safe distanceTo see what we doIn such a…
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Parenting paradox
Having a 3 year old around is energizing. I can see the irony in the above statement.We’ve welcomed the respite of peace and silence when jackie spends the day with the grandparents. But right now we long to have our kids with us. To drink up from the closeness, the snuggles, the music, the drawing…
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In her grief and longing, she worships.
Then Hannah prayed and said: “My heart rejoices in the Lord; in the Lord my horn is lifted high.My mouth boasts over my enemies, for I delight in your deliverance. “There is no one holy like the Lord; there is no one besides you; there is no Rock like our God. “Do not keep talking so proudly or let your mouth speak such arrogance,for the Lord is a God who knows, and by…
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Disobedience
Two more days of quarantine. Two more days until we can be reunited with our youngest daughter. Two more days until we begin a new chapter, transitioning from an “emergency state” to an “alert state”, whatever that means, since our ministers haven’t published clear guidelines for most institutions. We are busier than ever, and frankly…