Interesting trend. I feel overwhelmed. Pessimistic. I worry about the girls, their health.

This week we had appointments every day. Monday the general practitioner, Tuesday the social worker visit, Wednesday the dentist, Thursday we go see an orthopedic specialist. Jackie appears to develop scoliosis, ivy’s ribcage is oddly shaped. This is a known issue, due to lack of essential minerals during the first years of life.

I worry about death. I feel too blessed to have them both home… that after years of heartache, now I expect terrible things to happen. Mentally, we are stretched thin after months of quarantine.

I pray for peace in my heart and my mind. As I remember God is sovereign, and no matter what happens he is good and nothing can separate us from His love, I experience peace. But if I don’t maintain a constant connection to Him, so easily I can be pulled back into the worry vortex. I allow it at times, as I feel worry motivates me to act swiftly. Like making appointments, following through.

God is sovereign. And I entrust my life to him. May he do as he pleases with us, with our daughters. Today. Always.