Category: Adoption
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Isaiah 62
As I struggle with self worth during the lockdownI read a word of wisdom, an insight regarding adopteesAnd their inherent struggle with self worthBecause as infants, they were given up.I sit silent for a momentAnd feel the future pain of my daughters. This struggle thoughcan find its resolution and healing in Christ,In Christ alone. Reading…
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It’s been a day
We’ve played outside in the cold. We played inside to warm up. Both girls need a nap. I decide to stay in the room, in an armchair between their beds. They do anything else but sleep even when they are too tired, if they are left to their own devices. Jackie has been particularly defiant…
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Jackie – the precocious conversationalist
When Jackie gets more vocal in her defiance, and we’ve had a few instances lately, especially as she is so tired of her daily scolioses stretches, I have no impulse to push back. I sit down on the floor and I make room for thoughts to settle and get clear. Last night, as Jackie was…
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The cocoon
We met Ivy two weeks before the pandemic hit Romania. Who knew the first two weeks would be so precious, and out of the current ordinary. We treasure those times of kisses and snuggles without reserve or masks. I have faith that much will still change around the world. And Ivy will adapt, as this…
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No joy or simply disconnected
I realized this week that all I felt was exhaustion. There was no joy left in my being a mom. I used to have easy reset strategies, reset of mind, of body, of mindset. Whatever reset I managed, didn’t last anymore. I was feeling pretty hopelessly sad. Then I had an interview with ARFO about…
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Allow for miracles
I like control. I’m a good planner and I reap the benefits. I had to learn to pull back and let others give it a go, take responsibility, distribute the work. I am living on a prayer. And Keep busy. One lesson I learned and practiced as a teenager, when I was so anxious about…
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“My foster mom didn’t sing”
I stop humming. I look at her. I take a deep breath and ask: “would you prefer I stopped singing?” “Yes” she answered slightly embarrassed, quietly. It’s not the first time she tells me to stop singing. Ever since I met her. I blatantly disregarded her request when I used to drive her back to the…
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Widen your tent
Widen your tent to make room for the orphan. We’ve been thinking and praying for a house for a few years. The dream felt extravagant. I am grateful for my small comfortable home. But as we adopted ivy, the possibility of another biological child showing up in the system, made us realize that we would…
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Passport
I picked up the passports for both girls today. It feels powerful and freeing. We can travel. Theoretically. Because the pandemic keeps us put. For now. Still. It was a big day today. A fruitful Friday. But what I want to write about is the interaction I had with Marina, the passport lady. On Tuesday…
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Why parenting is tough
I couldn’t remember the particulars, the first year we had Jackie. We were tired, but had steam. And we traveled a lot, had energy to play and to visit with friends and new places. Mom and dad came and we had adventures together. I thought that was hard. And couldn’t imagine how the second time…
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My daughters
We chisel each other. And sparks come out. Due to my tiredness, I speak my mind more freely, more unfiltered. I’m happy though, that my heart is true. I observe with fascination what drives me and what comes out under pressure. I reached my bottom line, a few times, when Jackie tried to get her…
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A parent
The girls cling onto meBecause I correct themBecause I comfort them Because I don’t shy away from difficult situations The moment daddy stepped in to correct and serve their needs,I saw their respect and affection grow for him. Instantly. I don’t seek their dependency Or adoration I am a speaker of truth and I am more concerned with…