Cathartic journaling of an adoptive mom.
Latest Posts
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Window into my prayer room
Blue ripples As I glide weightless through the waterI reach the end of myself And I know not what else to doBut let go. My eloquence and persuasion are useless I feel broken. I cry to GodAnd he meets me thereIn the perfect waterI ask God to reach my brother’s heart To wake him up To meet himLet him see…
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Reconciliation
The positive heartIn absence of anotherRemembers and feeds on the good My brother. Your servant heartYour quiet demeanor Not once have I doubted your love And yet. Conflicting signals You hurt.And I don’t understand. Coming homeI sense it’s worse than I thought As I put my self aside I see clearer. I start praying For healingFor understanding For peace Then I am moved With…
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God, don’t waste my gifts
Don’t leave me stuck in my head. In my discouragement. In my depression. Pull me out by my arm. Throw me back into life. Point me into Your direction. CS Lewis observed that war, famine & death ultimately brought out the best in people. Before I knew of this author, I had also instinctively detached…
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About mom
Studying Jacob’s life this last week, we first looked at the father perspective. The next day, we studied then introspected about our own mothers. We were asked with clever insight, to name the first three words that describe our dad, or mom, and three words that describe our relationship with them. These words were our…
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What do you want God to do for you?
Such a daring question. A good one, no less. We tend to dream small based on our fears and memory of selfishness. Until we are honest enough to even admit our own wild dreams, we cannot even confront them with God. So we remain small. In stature and accomplishments. What do I want God to…
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My dad
We spent the week at Lacu Rosu in the mountains, in fellowship and studying the life of Jacob. This year did not unfold as we anticipated. We were thinking we would embark early on, on the adoption adventure, being drawn body and soul to the-grafting-of-lives process. God had other plans. We left behind computers and…
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Optimism & Altruism
Two essential qualities in parenting. We come into marriage with an average dose of altruism. Whatever we’ve witnessed growing up, and how we’ve been challenged to get involved in the family life or in our community. Self-sacrifice gives forth its fruit over time, so it has nothing to do with instant gratification. Unless we got…
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Mă frământă…
Așteptăm. Așteptam de un an si jumate. Dupa un sistem care merge parca inapoi. Iar legea este doar parțial puternica sau de folos. Neinformați, dezinformați. S-au simplificat legile si s-a scurtat teoretic timpul de asteptare, pentru parinti si copii, însă in realitate toate lucrurile se desfășoară mai greoi parca. Toate astea in contextul in care…
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Full members
I live intuitively. And sometimes I believe it’s not half bad. On the contrary. The wisdom of relationships and of parenting is deeply seeded in us. It’s just that sometimes I need to know why I do what I do. To rationally justify my choices and to solidify them. I learned from a psychologist who,…
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Membri cu drepturi depline
Trăiesc intuitiv. Și uneori cred că nici nu-i asa rău. Dimpotrivă. Înțelepciunea relațiilor și a parentajului sunt adânc semănate în noi. Doar că uneori am nevoie să știu de ce fac ceea ce fac. Pentru a-mi putea justifica rațional alegerile și a le solidifica. Am aflat de la un psiholog care de 30 de ani…
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Rules of engagement
Mom, my friend tried to choke me. Did he succeed? No. But… Ask him to never do that again. And please don’t tattletale. OK. [5 minutes later] Mom, my friend didn’t let me speak at all. So I couldn’t ask him to not choke me anymore. [he was now present, visibly embarrassed] Ok. Let’s set…
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How many hurts do we learn to live with?
It goes all the way back to Adam, and our primal sin as humans. But I never knew how much passivity could hurt, and how much havoc it can cause. I have been silenced by shame. Because I couldn’t speak freely about what was going on, afraid it would embarrass others. A few years have…
