Cathartic journaling of an adoptive mom.
Latest Posts
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Not yet
For two years I felt powerless (much like we all feel right now in an ever prolonging quarantine). So stuck. Helpless. All I wanted was to hear of progress on my daughters adoptability. At some point, my frenetic emotions were suffocating. I did the best I knew. Whatever was in my power. And that was…
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Durerea distanței
Înțelegerea etapelor durerii este un început. Dar, de câte ori vorbesc despre etapele durerii, trebuie să le reamintesc oamenilor că etapele nu sunt liniare și pot să nu se întâmple în această ordine. Nu este o hartă, dar oferă niște schele pentru această lume necunoscută. Există o negare, despre care spunem foarte devreme: acest virus…
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What are we waiting for?
We’re wait-experts. But waiting is not a good place to be in. The best place to be in is the present. Even if you’re tempted to label it as terrible. It’s not terrible. It is what it is. But our mental suffering occurs when we cling onto the past or the future. Our life lesson…
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Poem of the present
Don’t envy me.Don’t pity me. Just pray if you will. Let’s! Reach out your heart. Our aches are different. I’m sure. There’s no comparison No competition Together though we can allow the pain we create with our mind To pass through As we acknowledge it We let it go. Intense suffering of any kind Can…
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Ideation
Among my strengths, there’s ideation. Which can be overwhelming for others – so I filter a lot of my ideas of development and improvement. It had become increasingly painful to FaceTime every day with Ivy. By the way: Ivy sounded like Evé -> Romanian Ivi not Aivi. Honestly, how many interesting things can you talk…
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Beauty in the storm clouds
The silver lining. I love the silver lining. As I sense a wave of embracing the present all around me, that sweet acceptance that allows the mind to clear. Although not much has changed yet, in our current situation, I find this worldwide quarantine to be an excellent experiment of the mind, an X-ray of…
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Thoughts from isolation
Understanding the stages of grief is a start. But whenever I talk about the stages of grief, I have to remind people that the stages aren’t linear and may not happen in this order. It’s not a map but it provides some scaffolding for this unknown world. There’s denial, which we say a lot of…
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Courage and resilience
Most of us can recognize good leadership when we see it. The past few weeks world leaders grappled for the right and timely decisions. There was no perfect plan. But inaction was worse. While our circumstances change very little these days, our emotions experience an erratic rollercoaster. Alas, every day is in our power to…
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Encouragement
When Jackie and Ivy took the first picture together, Jackie smiled a beautiful toothless smile. Her two front teeth were still invisible. Today, a month later, both front teeth are half way out, white and straight. Jackie looks older and wiser. I just got a call from our adoption case manager. Strangely, we feel more…
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Adapting
We’ve taken the maintenance of our relationship with our youngest daughter to FaceTime. Not my favorite. But it’s better than nothing. Most of us live in denial. When that doesn’t fly anymore, we try and live in the future. The present doesn’t make sense. It takes a great deal of mental discipline to focus on…
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How is this quarantine affecting you?
Conrad and I are happiest away from crowds. We don’t have a TV and we don’t keep up with the news. So the pandemic was not on my radar at all, whatsoever. Until one morning when I found out from my social worker, during an evaluation visit for our adoption process, that the schools are…
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Timpul e relativ
…Iar atunci când îl aștepți să treacă, un an poate fi resimțit la fel de apăsător ca 2 minute. Doi ani am așteptat activ să adoptăm o fetiță, o fetiță anume, de care am aflat din întamplare că a intrat în sistemul de protecție, și anume, sora biologică a copilului deja adoptat de noi cu…
