Among my strengths, there’s ideation. Which can be overwhelming for others – so I filter a lot of my ideas of development and improvement.
It had become increasingly painful to FaceTime every day with Ivy. By the way: Ivy sounded like Evé -> Romanian Ivi not Aivi.
Honestly, how many interesting things can you talk about with a 3 year old. She tells us about the little pigs she visits in the morning. About the eggs she picks from the chickens on the farm. And whatever random things she can remember. We sometimes talk over each other and the foster mom tries to facilitate. But then Conrad feels left out – because how many words can he fit in a group of chatty women.
I worried that she would forget us if we don’t talk and see each other every other day at least. And she had been increasingly emotional on our last calls. She would have a hard time looking at us without looking teary. She would then hide her eyes or create diversions.
Of course nobody wants to submit themselves to daily suffering if they can avoid it. So she would start postponing talking to us. And I understand it. Trying to protect her heart, I’ve been thinking a lot about what we could do…
So I had this idea. I recorded Jackie reading a book about a magical tree. I thought about how I read stories every night to Jackie at this age and how she developed a love for books.
Needless to say, this did the trick. For now at least. And we reached a new level. I knew videos would help – and it’s exciting to be able to share book reading with her even from afar.
The next day she had an hour of FaceTime with us. No rush. The foster mom set the iPhone up in the kitchen, while she made bread. And Jackie and I made a puzzle with Evelyn. Jackie would call out the next pieces and Ivy would agree or disagree [do the balloons next, or the hearts or the sun]. Then Evelyn “read” to us her one favorite books, which I read to her on our first visit. The book is called: “Not too small and too too big for a hug.”
Later on Jaclyn and Evelyn danced, and sang loud and got goofy. We all wore silly hats and laughed and listened better to each other. It was the best online connection yet. We were all present and she was happy. We savored the moment together.
We take one day at a time. I have a lot of ideas about how we can adapt to the new circumstances, and actually make progress on the adoption front, but I don’t know how open the system is to embrace such new ways. Right now we are just buying time.
Obviously technology is an available solution, but how viable do they see it? The social workers are due to monitor the kids and the adoptions that began the matching in earnest. I keep thinking of these things, without dramatizing it all. How can we truly prepare for the future?
One thing is clear to me: we are not going back to how it used to be. We look forward to a changed society. And as someone said: we replace what we don’t know about the future with what we know about God. Let’s be light!