Category: Spiritual
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Words of affirmation
Before the first lemudim camp in 2013We were invited to reflect on our gifts.Brian kept my applicationAnd read it back to meon our wedding day in California.In it I articulated without apologyMy joy and gift of encouraging others.That was my introspection at 18. In my mid twenties I was reluctant to admit itBecause it didn’t…
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A weekly online class
If it wasn’t for our weekly Isaiah class… I would have been worse for wear. This year has been disorienting, difficult. We were stripped of all artificial crutches and were faced with our limitations. First things first. I have nothing to prove. And yet, as I say I struggle with self worth, I realize there…
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November 2020 transitions
After a season of depression Joyless days felt suffocating A season of anger followed. A ticking bomb. Everything irritable. Then I confessed my furry. This overwhelming burden. Then I entered into the season of tears Crying out of nothing Cleansing my eyes Cleansing my heart. Relief. Then Joy restored. Joy restored my heart. My courage.…
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This season
…feels like the dark woods. It’s cold. It’s overwhelming. We stumble in the dark. And push through. Day in and day out. Occasionally, our inner compass, gives us a glimpse of hope. But we can’t know for certain. We pursue the North Star, through the dark clouds. And, by faith, we progress. How lovely it…
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Isaiah 62
As I struggle with self worth during the lockdownI read a word of wisdom, an insight regarding adopteesAnd their inherent struggle with self worthBecause as infants, they were given up.I sit silent for a momentAnd feel the future pain of my daughters. This struggle thoughcan find its resolution and healing in Christ,In Christ alone. Reading…
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It’s been a day
We’ve played outside in the cold. We played inside to warm up. Both girls need a nap. I decide to stay in the room, in an armchair between their beds. They do anything else but sleep even when they are too tired, if they are left to their own devices. Jackie has been particularly defiant…
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lavish
I put my most unwelcoming face on. I need a few minutes of silence. I want to focus on finishing one paragraph. No such luck. My kids seem oblivious to my intimidating “stay away” face. And that’s how it should be. Parents don’t have such a shield in the family. That unapproachable stance is only…
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Jackie – the precocious conversationalist
When Jackie gets more vocal in her defiance, and we’ve had a few instances lately, especially as she is so tired of her daily scolioses stretches, I have no impulse to push back. I sit down on the floor and I make room for thoughts to settle and get clear. Last night, as Jackie was…
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The cocoon
We met Ivy two weeks before the pandemic hit Romania. Who knew the first two weeks would be so precious, and out of the current ordinary. We treasure those times of kisses and snuggles without reserve or masks. I have faith that much will still change around the world. And Ivy will adapt, as this…
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Growing pains
We all grow. In different ways. Parents and children, side by side. This week I set my decibel bar low. And it was a success from that point of view… though I myself cried more, it was definitely more cathartic. Last week I oscillated between deep sadness to hot furry. Disobedience. Exuberance. Disagreements. As I…
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Introspection shared
I always believed thatstepping into the lightis the first step into freedom.As we grow old,discerning the lightseems to be the hardest part of the process.And then harder yet, embracing vulnerability.The trick is that,once you submerse yourselfinto the grace of God,Facing the TruthLooking intentlyinto the mirror of God’s Wordconfessing and accept His forgiveness,the onlookers hold no…
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Isaiah 61 – garment of praise
I stayed with this beautiful text. And at first I heard nothing. I felt nothing. After reading it every day, for a few days, I woke up at night and I could finally articulate my thoughts. Here are my reflections. Thanks to the rabbi for making me sit with the text. My hardened heart and hardened…