Author: Violeta
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First school week is over
“This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult—once we truly understand and accept it—then life is no longer difficult. Because once it has been accepted, the fact that life is…
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Simple rules
After I had a good conversation with Jackie about decision making and empowering her to try, to step forward, to decide for herself many of the daily choices, because I trust her judgement and I believe she will make mostly good decisions, the next day I softened my passion, added some creativity and told ivy…
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Decision fatigue
I woke up with this phrase that truly defines why I feel so tired. Today both girls start going to school and I’m most excited that they won’t ask for my permission or opinion about anything. For 4 h/day each, they will ask someone else or listen to someone else. Yesterday mid day j asked…
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Reset talk
I spent one weekend morning pouring my heart in my journal. It was cathartic to sort it all out. A few hours later Conrad asked me if I’m ok. I said I’m not. And we had a lengthy deep clarity giving conversation. I had started shutting down in the recent weeks. And it is dangerous…
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Living offline
I had snapped a few cute pictures of my girls. The perfect light, their clever smile, with the house key adorning their neck, a sign of independence. I wanted to post it on insta as we played basketball in front of our house. We also had a street party. Everyone was having a good time.…
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Respond. Don’t react.
While overthinking is my downfall (as i get lost in it, in a storm of emotions, spiraling) reflecting calmly and purposefully on a challenging aspect of my life has granted me insight and helped me devise a plan to overcome shortcomings. The new one on my plate is grasping the difference between reacting and responding. …
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Contextual angst
It’s that time of month. I have learned to push through. Ignore the occasional excruciating pain. I don’t usually medicate. IN the states I discovered midol, acetaminophen to take the edge off. Yesterday I felt nauseous from pain. And last night I couldn’t sleep for five hours. I finally gave in and took a pill at…
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Fruit of the spirit
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. I saw this verse from Galatians on instagram and I felt convicted in my heart. My tree is dry and bare. It has a few low fruit hanging. But it is not lush with joy, peace, forbearance, gentleness.…
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Tata turns 70 tomorrow
My parents celebrate their birthdays one after the other. Mama is a year younger than Tata. And they are 30 years older than me. We find ourselves at the turn of the decade, enjoying a slow pace of summer. August is hot and sluggish. And not pretentious. Reflecting on the gifts of my parents, I…
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Self righteousness
Though I like to reflect on my life in writing, I catch myself sounding self righteous and I don’t like it. My positive outlook, my self reassurance, it is rooted in struggle. I think at times, the more self righteous I sound, the more insecure I am and I talk myself up through my introspection. …
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Balance without apology
I don’t take initiative out of a great sense of ability, I do it because of my realization of how inadequate I feel. In the same breath I am convinced that if I feel so inadequate, then others must feel the same. So I take a step forward. While doing this unaware, and using a…
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Reflecting on Church after Gmunden
I grew up in a broad community that adhered to a set of values and beliefs, and though my neighborhood was at the edge of the city, limited in many ways (economically and politically), we transcended our boundaries of space and time. Early on in my life I traveled all over the country, meeting new…