Cathartic journaling of an adoptive mom.
Latest Posts
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Teenagers learning to cook and cheap labor
Four years ago we contracted a house interior finishes crew. They had some experience and covered a lot of skills in interior finishes. But they also had a diverse pool of people, some just starting, some needing a lot of hand holding, some having to redo the work and pulling tiles of the wall is…
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Planning to go but willing to stay
I have renewed energy as I gain some clarity about my timeline in this volunteering project. I have been intensely stretched and on one hand I loved the community. But on the other hand I have felt out of my league against my will. So many times I felt close to panic attack due to…
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Ioana
I regard you with envy and admiration.A decision that was fraught over.Not easy. But necessary.Closing a chapter. Making a clean cut.I appreciate your declared availabilityBut it’s not necessary.I worry for that phrase. The open door.Hopefully we won’t abuse it.Maybe you’ve tested the waters of absence,letting us go. Slowly over time.We’ll make do.I want to bless…
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Be yourself
We try to do what’s right but not from within, not from our deep and slow earned wisdom but by being bombarded with new ideas and gentle parenting misunderstood. Oh, you can feel from a mile away a parent who feels in control of their own lives and emotions. Who glide with confidence. Who ooze…
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Worry about adulthood
“You know what keeps me up at night?” Jackie is on spring vacation and more chatty at home, more open, settled, and fun to be around. Even though she has a great social context at school, it puts her on edge often. Navigating social drama takes up so much of our kid’s energy. There is…
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Easter with family
We cleaned the terrace and I brought the round table in, to extend the large dining room table so it could fit us all together. Conrad cooked paprikas and baked corn bread. There was an abundance of food. I baked pocket cheesecakes and everyone was happy to enjoy a slow Sunday together. Recently I had…
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What hurt most
During my burnoutWas the clear awareness of how ungenerous I becameWith my attentionWith my timeIf I felt that everyone wanted a piece of meI would curl my fingers around the meager resources of sanity and silenceAnd I wound dread any interruption. What hurt most was my greed for restI was not generous anymoreAnd I felt…
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Words have power
I remembered, I felt how powerful a positive word spoken clearly in my mind can be.When have I stopped doing that? Why? I have lived in a fog. Dense. Sticky with sadness, tiredness. Then after clearing the film of silence off the topI could breath againAnd hearI listened to barely whispered questionsAnd received an answer.Not…
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Nu vreau
M-am auto condiționat să fac ce e bine. Să fac ce trebuie. Am găsit un echilibru delicat în a face bine pe termen lung, pentru mine și cei din jur. Dar în ultimii ani mi-am tot șters limitele, am trecut peste ce e rezonabil, și am sperat ca Domnul va completa din abundență. Dar probabil…
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lead feet
Don’t invite me to go upfrontAnd talkDon’t expect me to say anything brilliant. The well is dryMy mouth is dryMy soul feels dry. I never feared public speakingThere is no sense of terror or panic or embarrassmentBut I have nothing to say these days.Nothing at all. It felt so good to share these with a…
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Crazy times in the world
Times are crazy. The war in Ukraine has been going on for over three years. It is impressive that they have been holding down the fort for so long. Ukraine lost 20% of their territory but inched forward into Russia in order to have a bargaining chip when peace talks will take place. We’ve served…
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iPhone 16 Pro Max
The new obsession among the cool girls in Jackie’s class, who makes it sound like everyone has the latest iPhone, except her. This is a 6000 lei phone. An absurd amount, even for people with jobs. Why do preteen think they are entitled to this. So far nothing made Jackie feel like an outsider. Not…
