Category: Spiritual
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Bitterness redeemed
I had to remember to be present, and postpone the wallowing in frustration. Oh, to be able to stop the train of negative thoughts, what a powerful feeling. Having tried this in a season of extreme exhaustion or emotional overstimulation, the feeling of powerlessness added to the frustration. Enough with the theory. Every week I…
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Romance
Both girls giggle about boys. So innocent. Different boys come to the door ti invite them out to play. They gag when they see kissing in movies, but the interest in boys is in a stage of its own in their development. They try to play it cool but then they ask me stuff. And…
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Last minute stars alignment
Having friends, maintaining friendships can be expensive. Having built these friendships through church we got used to free socializing. But I can see how going out is getting to be too pricy. Alas, we went on a weekend away and swam and assembled food, shared stories and listened to each other’s heart or silliness. And…
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Self confidence
How easy it is for the self-importance car to take a wrong turn. Here we are, driving the proper way, switching only occasionally to course correct. But mostly going in the right direction. Even when I worried, I sensed God’s delight in our obedience despite the imediate results. These days of over confidence boost, riding…
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you pray
This is how Ivy calls me to their room after we already said good night, and Conrad and I read quietly on the couch. It’s usually to talk through something and to pray. I usually have to dig a little deeper to find the real question. Ivy deflects.⁃ what do you mean?She repeats the question.…
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MVT – întâlnire de vară
Mă întreb uneori daca e bine sa apar așa epuizată la întâlniri de lucru. Dar realizez cu îngrijorare ca asta a devenit modul standard de operare de câțiva nai. Unele zile sunt mai eficiente ca altele dar nu sunt predictibile. Totuși daca as aștepta sa fiu bine odihnita nu as mai merge sau nu as…
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Civil disobedience
I have been a very obedient child. Having an older brother who stepped on a few mines of exploring his free will, I have learned to navigate the social system to my advantage. I could have been an expert manipulator. I worried at times that I’m too good and nimble in social settings to be…
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Failing
There must be a balance between taking care of family with warmth and presence and commitment, and the ability to empower them to grow mature and responsible. I was never pushed outside of my comfort zone too early. Some natural things in my family, like spending time at my grandmother as the eldest cousin, observing…
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Comparison
I always believed that my self-sufficiency was rooted in my introversion. I didn’t need others to feel at ease, whole, happy. It may have had something to do with my dedication to God, no matter what, when I was 12. I had become aware of my complete and utter need for Him, based on everything…
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Honest look at my schedule
It’s so freeing to speak the truth. I got on a zoom call to meet a new friend and see if I could help her set up a few private screenings of a movie she produced. A mutual friend who is too kind and sees the very best in everyone, she connected us. I admit…
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Hospitality – in progress
I have worked on this topic for a long time. I’m re-polishing a talk fit a certain context. At some point I had two different directions, both valid and powerful. But my heart is on simplifying it. Too much information crowds the heart.