Author: Violeta
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Encouragement
When Jackie and Ivy took the first picture together, Jackie smiled a beautiful toothless smile. Her two front teeth were still invisible. Today, a month later, both front teeth are half way out, white and straight. Jackie looks older and wiser. I just got a call from our adoption case manager. Strangely, we feel more…
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Adapting
We’ve taken the maintenance of our relationship with our youngest daughter to FaceTime. Not my favorite. But it’s better than nothing. Most of us live in denial. When that doesn’t fly anymore, we try and live in the future. The present doesn’t make sense. It takes a great deal of mental discipline to focus on…
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How is this quarantine affecting you?
Conrad and I are happiest away from crowds. We don’t have a TV and we don’t keep up with the news. So the pandemic was not on my radar at all, whatsoever. Until one morning when I found out from my social worker, during an evaluation visit for our adoption process, that the schools are…
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Timpul e relativ
…Iar atunci când îl aștepți să treacă, un an poate fi resimțit la fel de apăsător ca 2 minute. Doi ani am așteptat activ să adoptăm o fetiță, o fetiță anume, de care am aflat din întamplare că a intrat în sistemul de protecție, și anume, sora biologică a copilului deja adoptat de noi cu…
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Quarantine during the adoption process
We were on our last lap in the adoption race. While we still had time, unaware of a ticking clock, we made the best of it. But for now things are put on hold. Like the rest of world. Shoulda’ Woulda’ Coulda’ are pointless, though a few times (moved by intuition) I tried to push…
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After the darkest night comes the sweetest morning
Conrad was in terrible pain. A throat infection (his allergies make his throat sensitive – especially in the Spring) spread to his right ear. We are at the end of our wits energy wise. And yet, as a parent, when you think you can’t go any further, you muster up enough energy to push on…
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Connection
Specialists say that kids want to obey their parents so long as they feel connected. Honestly, this was the case with Jackie from day one. We made an conscious effort to connect; that was our sole purpose during the matching period. And we kept at it. Even and especially when she felt completely comfortable to…
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Driving
I can’t remember the last time I was so tired. It’s Friday night. A few hours ago I drove Ivy back, along with her foster mom and teenage daughter… After a day of driving there and back in the morning, to get Ivy’s medical certificate for the adoption final file. I was just 15 km…
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Gratitude
We feel your prayers. Like a warm blanket on a cold night. We feel at peace, grounded, cheerful, complete, calm, collected, happy. We brought Ivy home today, and I kept a purposefully watchful eye, for her particular needs, tendencies, challenges, and thought about how we could and would meet them. Ivy longed for us, because…
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Halfway home
There is something about looking intently at the details of the present and seeing clearly. As I told a friend, I find it exhilarating to write from the trenches the unedited experiences & raw emotions. Yesterday Ivy spent the 3rd full day with us. With every visit we observe changes and growth. She is more…
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First visit home
We have no control over things that happen to us in life. But we can control the way we respond to them. A couple of weeks ago someone rear-ended us during commute hour, before a busy roundabout. They made an honest mistake but they bent our trunk door and broke our bumper. We were on…
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Turning point
I was able to observe the evolution of my connection with Ivy, with a keen eye. I didn’t worry and I didn’t rush. I think I was just as cerebral with Jackie, but then I didn’t have a term of comparison. Also, nearly four years ago, we were told to enjoy this journey of coming…