Month: January 2022
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Helping our kids grow up
It has been nearly two months since ivy went to kindergarten last. She find pleasure in it every time she goes, but we struggle with some separation anxiety, which is more intense than two years ago. The fears are more acute. She is more stubborn and aware. We tested both girls for covid, as is…
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Playmates
I overhear the girls talking. Jackie wants to play by herself an imaginary games with her dragons. They usually play together at an average childish level, with the babies, princess dolls, the cars, the playhouse, LEGO, they color together, they read together, they sled, jump, hide, play board games. The list is huge. But today…
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Farewell Austin
There is pain and beauty in this dance we do, this ebb and flow. We appreciate family time, we expand our boundaries of grace, we practice humility and gratitude in ways we wouldn’t know how, if family was always within reach.
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Asking thoughtful questions
As a kid, I haven’t felt I earned a place in adult conversations. Also, I didn’t care to partake. Most adult conversations were not interesting to me. But I learned to pay attention. Nobody is born socially apt and knowledgeable. Some of us are more gifted, or charming, or are naturally good listeners. Or maybe…
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Fumbling vs confidence
For the most part, we fumble in the dark. In retrospect our parents seemed so sure of themselves. Deep down, their griped the core values, while the expression of life was more made up on the go. Today, because we live such exposed lives, we try to polish the outside, while our core values remained…
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Advice
I have made so many mistakes this year. Soon I started to feel like I don’t know anything anymore. And that I’m about to loose my mind or I will run away. Conrad can attest to it. All my book smarts were useless as I felt swept under the vortex of emotions in my tiny…
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Porcelain
Porcelain Out of tears and ashes I hear you. I see you. My cup emptied I feel weightless As I stand in front of you Witnessing your storm I did not know How releasing my “poems of waiting” Will rewrite my DNA It will ready me To be your helper Your strong ally In the…
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Like butter
We mingle with family like butter on toast, making the crunchy bits less loud, salty and appealing. Last night we had a best game of find and seek with the grandparents. We were all exhausted by evening time, or maybe just Grammie was most tired, as she spent the morning with all the granddaughters making…
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Not a burden
I remember my grandma saying she didn’t want to be a burden. She put wird’s to s feeling I grew up with. I never felt I was a burden. Though I tiptoed around the house the days my parents were resting before or after their night shifts. I wasn’t loud. I kept to myself. Before…
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In the darkest hour of your night
I may start a collection of conversations before bedtime with my daughters. Yesterday morning j was frustrated that she needs to do her back stretches while ivy was doing a puzzle. She feels that being younger is easier. I agree. What she forgets is that and she is younger than me. She asked in her…
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Addiction to guilt?
The beauty of faith is that one can lay the burden at the cross and move on freely. No guilt. No shame. Genuine repentance and acceptance of forgiveness. In their perfect imperfect parenting, though my mom says she felt pangs of guilt scolding us and then leaving for work, worrying that she left us with…
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Love for other children
My good-old friend Carmen has this sweetness expressed in her eyes, her words, to kids, many kids, my kids. Long ago interactions with my daughters make a lasting impression. Jackie said one day: “Carmen loves me.” How do you know? I ask. “Because of the way she greets me and calls me beautiful and sunshine.”…