The beauty of faith is that one can lay the burden at the cross and move on freely. No guilt. No shame. Genuine repentance and acceptance of forgiveness. 

In their perfect imperfect parenting, though my mom says she felt pangs of guilt scolding us and then leaving for work, worrying that she left us with unsolved emotions, I never remember feeling that our connection was interrupted in any way. 

For better or worse we were given space, and by gods grace the way I am wired, space is what I needed. There is the possibility that space then is what influence the way I function now. I want, I need to feel the full weight of the reality. No jokes, or a fearful attempt to make light of difficult or painful situations. I value honesty, clarity, silence and space to process. 

My niece often asks the adults to not joke to make her feel better. She is 4. She apologizes with clarity. She love to experiment life. She appreciates when others apologize. 

I find sensitivity in children easily exacerbated. A dangerous slippery slope. 

It causes the guilt in adults to surface easily. Kids get a rise in adults with emotions. But guilt serves no good long term effects. We thing that feeling guilty pays a tribute to our shortcomings, but it doesn’t last. It’s addictive and leaves a bad taste. If every parent was to decide to recognize the guilt they feel in a day, and chose to file it away as soon as they acknowledge it. When they have to say no to screen time, when they put the kids to bed early so kids can rest and parents can connect. When we scold kids, to stick to our reasoning, and don’t feel guilty about it. Kids smell our guilt, our fear and our second guessing, and they worry deep down that danger lurks. Sometimes this is never solved. We live with the tension, and anxiety, the fear, and we learn to live with it. But faith, God’s way, does not mix or coexist long term with these burdens.