Month: December 2019
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Drawn or drifting away
As I get older I realize cynicism is more prevalent. Be that as it may, it’s been ingrained in me to speak with honesty and always assume positive intent. This alone has spared me a ton of grief. I had nothing to lose by taking initiative in kindness even when occasionally it was returned with…
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I don’t tiptoe
When it comes to adoption and trauma, or difficult conversations, or potential pain… I don’t tiptoe. I don’t hold my breath. Because it would be exhausting and a disservice. Instead I own my full seat, and I keep my mouth shut while opening my eyes wide. I allow myself to feel. To understand. To remain…
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Christmas came and went
I’ve been sick. My mind has been hazy. And in such a context, I have a hard time trusting my words. They can go either way: crisp insights or messy emotional ramble. Before Christmas Eve I reached out to the jurist, to thank him for his lifeline of availability and generosity in communicating with us,…
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A glimpse into adoption
On a whim, we left our kids with their grandparents and went overnight up in the mountains, to talk about our vision and plans to create an adoption community here in Cluj. [I sense a discomfort in our communities (leaders and otherwise) to even mention this loaded word. Adoption. Is it out of shame (for…
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La ziua porților deschise…
O sală plină cu parinti de viitori școlari, si o doamna învățătoare calma, calda, si deschisă. Ne-a spus mai multe lucruri despre următorii 5 ani de școala, dar ce mi-a ramas in minte a fost mesajul clar ca prioritatea ei in primul an, pe langa startul academic, sa fie modelarea caracterului copiilor in comunitate. Caracter!…
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Like the watchmen before dawn
It’s cold. We are exhausted. But I am filled with renewed hope. The icy waves crush into the shore. We squint to see a sign of light into the sea of darkness. The wind is howling. It’s deafening and mesmerizing all at once. I love a howling wind in a winter night. How long till…
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What was hard during the first adoption
⁃ traveling back and forth twice a day ⁃ 3-4 hours in the car with a carsick child ⁃ Taking her back to the foster family in the evening, and hear her cry after us to not leave her ⁃ Mandatory Medical appointments for the adoption file – she is afraid of hospitals. ⁃ Physical…
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Two years
Two years since we started exploring adoption again Preparing Jackie, Observing her disposition and openness. Again, Conrad was ready first. Decisive. I stood my ground in prayer: To keep my mind and heart open To be patient and strong To walk the bureaucratic steps To put my trust in God And to adapt to the…
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Doi ani
Doi ani de cand am tatonat iar terenul adopției Pregătind-o pe Jackie, Cercetându-i dispoziția și deschiderea. Dar hotărârea a rămas a noastră. Din nou Conrad a fost gata întâi. Hotărât. Eu am rămas cu ruga: Să-mi țin mintea și inima deschisă Să am răbdare și putere Să parcurg pașii birocratici, Să-mi pun încredrea în Dumnezeu…
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I am a ship
My mast stands tallSails in the wind. Steady and deep in the water. I’m sailing my course.Since before I met you.Quietly. Imposing. My artist Builder Crafted me with precision. Every detail. Every test. Every touchup. — You are my captain. Under your careI glide. You love me.You bring color.You give direction.You are steady and brave. Determined and clear. I am a shipAnd…
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Rough parenting week
After Jackie twisted her elbow, we went spiraling down into emotional arrhythmia. We have had a pretty good streak before. Even that day, the day of the twisting, we went on a long hike in the woods with good friends, their kids and their dogs. It was cold but memorably good. We hiked for miles.…
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Retrospective – half a decade
5 years ago exactly, we took a leap of faith and we moved to Romania. A few suitcases full of our earthly belongings, but a heart full of courage and a mind full of dreams. I had to go away first, across the ocean, far from my comfort zone and familiar culture. To intertwine our lives…