Cathartic journaling of an adoptive mom.
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His voice
“Speak to me” this is what I ask God, as I wander in white silence. I wait. It’s been a whirlwind …and I ask again “speak to me; I don’t hear you”.
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Routine
It’s slightly below zero, and cold rain drizzles constantly, settling in a slush mixed with months of frozen dirt n the streets. Gallons of heavy rain might wash it all off by Spring.
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Do versus don’t
I vaguely remember someone telling me about how confusing it is for a child to constantly be told what not to do. What about the stuff they should or are allowed to do. That is somehow more appealing or clear.
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“you are amazing!”
Conrad is sick and in so much pain. When jaclyn hears him cough, she says: “I’m sorry daddy you don’t feel well.” Then she whispers to me: “tell daddy you’re sorry too!” 😉
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Our magic hours
When we swim, the testing of boundaries, the whining, the no, the tiredness, hunger and thirst …they all fade away while we are at the pool.
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What kids see and hear
Before we adopted Jaclyn I worried about the absence of classic 9-5 work routine, to set an example, just like our parents did for us.
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Discipline
I went to a meeting about disciplining children up to the age of 6. It sounds like a loaded topic. Because it is. The guest speaker, a mother of 5, ages between 18 and 10, shared nuggets of wisdom from the future perspective of reaping the benefits of discipline during adolescence, by starting at the…
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Good days
Among the sweetest memories: this morning daddy was making coffee, and I was pasteurizing the milk, Jaclyn came in the kitchen and hugged tightly one leg of mine and one of her daddy’s and said “I love you so much!” (In english) Then: “I’ll sit here with you while you make coffee!”
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Mimic the Gospel
I received the link to a wonderful book Mom Enough a collection of blogposts well edited, from mothers across the world. It has encouraged me greatly. I even woke up with truths from this book, clear and bright on my mind. So inspiring!
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Sugar
We had our second to last home visit in this chapter of adopting Jaclyn. We were somewhat sleep deprived when the social worker arrived, and Jaclyn was getting ready to take her nap. She was her usual charming self, with a a pinch of carelessness due to her tiredness – which made our home life…
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Tears
Hot tears flowing, triggered by her emotions. I absorb and process at high intensity everything. I did not know I was so empathic.
