The adoption psychologist assessed me as a perfectionist. I was offended by it. I took a closer look at why she might think that.

The three-hundred-questions evaluation, with answers 1 to 5 intensity range, which I had to answer during one of the evaluation days, might have had something to do with it. It was pretty cut and dry. I knew what I like what I want and what I don’t. With the risk of sounding smarty pants or a snob, I answered them all with crisp integrity.

I have had many exams where all the questions seems too easy, and because of my experience with paranoid teachers in the past, the thought crossed my mind that if I answer perfectly might lead them to believe that I cheated. Because I kept steady on my course, it usually took a few weeks or months to prove my nature to them. But some of those interactions or relationships, which were often challenging, they gave color to my youth and strengthened my courage and spine.

In all our evaluations regarding the adoption, I felt that often times we were regarded with suspicion – we took things too well in stride! Our social worker believed us, she who visited us every two weeks for three months.

Later on, after a seven-week parenting class I took with our psychologist, in a room with many other adoptive parents, I think I won her over. But by this time our fate as adoptive parents did not depend on her. I got to like her and I dare say she got to like me as well. And she even made the comment that even if I might have perfectionism tendencies, I made and make successful attempts to balance that. Honest to goodness though, if you know better, how can you choose to be or do less. Though I sill don’t believe I am a perfectionist.

Letting go is a different story. Letting go is powerful. Being able to stop. To stop a train of thought, or to distance yourself from certain people or situations. Humility in Christ has a lot to do with this power. It is strength from Him and through Him. God is Perfect. We only strive to let Him shine through us.