One of the recent nights Jackie called out the 5th time saying softly, “am de ajutor” [i need help]. Usually the needs are as follows: i’m thirsty, cover me, i need to pee, sing me one more song, stay with me, rub my back, tell me who everyone loves me, bring me a toy and the list goes on. There are times when at the end of a very long day we ask her to filter well the reasons she calls us, as she sometimes asks for us to go in but she doesn’t think through what she wants.
So to our surprise, when Conrad went in to answer her heed, she said: “the wolf is coming”. Conrad sat next to her and rubbed her back, and talked it through. We opt for describing to her how mommy and daddy are going to protect her or how we are fighting alongside her. She laughs and loves hearing how we are strong and how she is strong as well. I confess I reviewed the previous few days to figure out where the wolf is coming from. Our stories don’t have wolves. For better or worse. But she heard some classic stories at kindergarten where the wolf is a bad guy.
Another fear, which surprised me greatly, surfaced as we were watching the change of guard at a castle. There were three guys on tall horses and other guys with drums. Jackie was on daddy’s shoulders. She started sobbing uncontrollably. She said she is afraid the guys will come and take her with them. If I dwell on such a though I would freak out even as an adult. I measured her that mommy and daddy would never let anyone take her away. She is safe with us and we would fight anyone off, and we describe carton like “pow!” and “boom!” and “block!”
These fears are subtle swift breezes. They come and go, and everything goes back to normal. I don’t what to dismiss them but neither to dwell on them.