Cathartic journaling of an adoptive mom.
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Prayer
If I were to create a chart, a graph of my emotional stability and my prayer life, I think I would see some direct correlation. I’m not that nerdy though. Alas, the last few months, I have coasted, trying to regain my balance and did not dig deep into introspection and prayer. I talk to…
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Emotions expressed
Growing up I think most of my emotions were welcomed. I was an observant kid but I was still a kid. One time though, I got lost in cernauti in Ukraine when I was 5. After mama found me, we were walking a little bewildered on the sidewalk, and I hit my head on an…
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Social context matters
When I traveled to California with “work and travel” the first summer, my friends there tried their best to help me. My host drove me to apply for jobs. Another friends put a good word with some of his old employers. None of them pan out. I remember now how overwhelmed and frozen I felt.…
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I went to bed pretty annoyed with my husband
He has been under the weather this week. Exhaustion lowers his immune system and we had a bbq on Saturday. The smoke irritated his throat. Made it vulnerable to spring viruses. I don’t know exactly. We are going through the motions with life. I drive a lot. A glorified chauffeur. People had random expectations or…
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Generosity
There are quotes that pop into my head, when it comes to generosity. “Give to the one who asks of you” But in the same breath I hear: Be wise and use your discernment. Be intentional and set clear boundaries. Too easily we, with our human nature, go from gratitude to expectation and then to…
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A moment of desperation
I’m going to be irreverent when it comes to family life. I’m going to compare it to a day job. As we jumped into parenting when our kids were age 3, and took on big responsibilities and learned as we went along, the rewards were great but the mental load was also great. The longest…
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Temperaments and MOPS Adoption
This Friday I had my adoption tribe over. A few hours before they arrived I was so tired, the sun was setting in gorgeous colors and the week was over. I thought to myself: “couldn’t I have just enjoyed this evening in silence?” I often feel this way, and yet I think I socialize, I…
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Don’t quit. Just take a break
Marriage is not martyrdom Parenting is not martyrdom Life for Christ is But it is also meant to be lived with gusto Balance Wisdom Boundaries Tasting and savoring the sweetness of life Laying it down at the foot of the cross. It’s not a paradox It is wholehearted living. Taking time to rest. To be…
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The familiar adoption world
“You love adoption, right mommy?” Asks ivy holding a bunch of pages she has drawn on. “I drew a book about adoption. Will you help me staple the pages?” She proceeds to walk me through the five beautiful drawings. She is 6 years old and she will be an architect. She practices every day. She…
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Being told what to do
The job of parents is to frustrate their kids. Giving them everything before they even know they need it is a recipe for disaster. I really didn’t like to be told what to do. With a passion. So I started anticipating my responsibilities as a kid. Just be a step ahead. Of course there is…
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Ivy’s encouragement
I took the kids on a spa trip. Sure enough they complained here and there. Or maybe they expressed their discomfort, confusion, tiredness. We still work on better expressing our emotions without burdening others. Unnecessarily. On our way back, as we ordered some food from a restaurant we like to stop by every time we…
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No resentful martyrdom
I woke up in pain during the weekend. My ear hurt when I was swallowing. “Mommies don’t get sick” said ivy quoting a book we have. Pain incapacitated me. I knew I had to slow down, to stop and rest. This whole month I drove the kids to their appointments and made time to swim,…
