“I appreciate everything you do for me. I know sometimes it doesn’t seem so, because I am a kid, but know that I see how much you do for us.” Said Jackie at dinner time.

We woke up early, I did at least. Jackie slept in and it was good for her. I made some calls and then I drove Jackie to a new orthopedic establishment to evaluate her corset and scoliosis. The day before we went to Kineto therapy and she stretched and worked hard for an hour. 

We braved the heat. 

The news were not great but the visit was good. The corset she has now is not good. Her scoliosis got worse by the looks of it, in just this past half a year. 

The corsets got 25% more expensive and we may not qualify for one since the last one was done in January. I will try though. I picked up a referral just in time from the family doctor. We also went to the dentist to get her retainer adjusted. She outgrew it as well. We’re done for now with the retainer. She wore it diligently every night. And ber teeth got nicely straight. But… the doctor says she hasn’t been brushing her teeth well lately. We were on vacation and I let her brush her own teeth. She was superficial at best. The doctor told her she can make plaque and get bad cavities. 

She asked me to show her again how to brush well. As I was brushing both of their teeth at bedtime, it made me cry. All my work feels so futile. I don’t remember my parents doing any of this with me. And I admit I am resentful. I suffered so much pain and lost some permanent molars. Once I took charge of my oral hygiene my teeth got white and healthy and well kept. There must be a good balance somewhere. Them relying on me too much, not doing their part diligently, when does the responsibility and motivation kick in without the shock and suffering I had to endure? 

Ivy still cries about the fact that we’ll be gone for two weeks. She has been tied to my hip since we adopted her 3-4 years ago. 

I frankly can’t wait to go. And I won’t have signal on the hike, so no daily FaceTime and long tearful goodbyes. They are not my thing though I tolerate it for my kids. 

I am at my wits end. I look forward to letting them figure it out without my help. My parents are a bit nervous. Jackie is excited even though she will give them most grief about meals and tv discipline. Ivy is worried that she needs to help convince Jackie to eat, or listen to my parents. I used to give them pointers. Not anymore. God speed to all of them. I mean life goes on without my direct involvement. Discomfort being forth goodness too. Growth, appreciation. 

I pray god will keep us safe. I pray god will keep the girls and the grandparents safe. 

May this be a good experience for all.