It was during the first weeks of dating. We got physical pretty early, if the first night we met counts. As we sat near each other at the restaurant, a few beers into the late evening, Conrad moved his elbow closer and closer to mine, above the table, barely touching my pinky with his pinky. Yes, touching my hand is being physical.

He didn’t say a lot, but what he said was intelligent, and he was very intriguing, handsome, polite, forward. He definitely made an impression.

We met nearly every day after that. After a week of dating, he asked me where do I see the relationship going. I felt respected. I sensed his self confidence in this open ended question. The little I dated before never felt so.

A week later, as we were kissing in the park one winter evening, I suddenly stopped and put my head in his shoulder. There was silence. He asked me what’s wrong. I thought to myself I like this man to much to let our physical closeness ruin it. So I said, “it is early enough to give you the freedom to choose to part ways if you want. No major heartbreak. But this is as far as I’m willing to go in our physical closeness. In case you were wondering. Not negotiable.”
What followed was the conversation that made me realize that this is the one. But I had to take a leap of faith and do something, say something deemed by today’s boy-standard, seemingly unloving.

I have been married to this wonderful man for nine years. He has only gotten more loving, more handsome, more interesting… And I thank God for the gift of boundaries.