Category: Transition
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Journey to self care
I was frustrated, anxious, irritated that people had increasing expectations of me. In reality though, I thought I was frustrated that they don’t see beyond their urgent need, or desire. But I was more upset with me for not speaking up kindly and clearly. I wanted someone to defend my time, to preserve my energy.…
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Loyalty and kindness
I worry about friendship and lasting relationships for the next generations. The introvert in me was met with warmth and friendship before I sensed a real and dull ache of loneliness. I had church. I had my brother. I had family. I braced myself for my daughter’s adolescent longing for friendship. I took steps to…
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Drawn to each other
I found myself involved in new projects, shoulder to shoulder, with many inspiring women in Cluj. Each with their own gifts. But what we have in common is action, showing up, a sense of responsibility in paying forward the abundance of grace … not that grace can be quantified or paid forward. It flows freely…
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Cyclical moodiness
Walking up the hill, my eldest is trying to convince me to let her have a sleep over at my parents. They are very lax with rules. This is the mai reason why she loves it there. She feels loved through the freedom she gets. At times we reset our expectations and give her what…
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Honoring the foster family
Three families, who are well settled in their adoption, met on a hot summer day, to surprise and celebrate the foster family that spent at least a year with our kids, our daughters. Who advocated for their well being without any personal interest , today we had a reunion of love, of gratitude, of joy.
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Adoption is disruptive
The most common question I get when I’m interviewed about adoption is: “what would you tell families who are considering adoption?” I want to be encouraging and at the same time realistic. Helpful and down to earth. But adoption is such a personal experience. No two adoptions are the same. No two kids are the…
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Seasonal friendships
A few weeks ago insecurity hit me like a boulder, out of nowhere. It passed. But the more attention I got, the more I questioned it deep down, or I felt this tension to be up to par with people’s expectations of me. It’s not really pleasant, being popular. Somehow you feel like you owe…
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Be unoffendable
Leaving a church is messy. You may not leave behind the people, the people you still very much love. But your departure may seem like an abandonment, even though for you it was an escape. A spiritual and emotional freedom. I inherited from my mom a dose of healthy humility that safeguarded me from taking…
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Tending to our marriage
The summer vacation began with anticipation. Mom and dad were coming to visit. After a spring full of conferences and speaking engagements, music school, driving everyone with a busy schedule, wrapping up home projects, and planning our summer events, it felt like we never took a break to breath. Conrad gets pretty bad headaches most…
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Ivy’s comment
Parenting is riddled with doubt, with fear, with mistakes. Seriously. On the other hand, we have seasons of fun, of connection, of growth, hope renewed and perfect peace. And those wonderful seasons are just as real as the other challenging ones. Just like I don’t worry about pride anymore. I used to as a student,…
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Mindset
“The damage is done. Let’s see how we can fix it.” On the receiving end, if someone with authority says that to you, instead of discussing consequences, it’s pure grace. You don’t sweep the issue under the cover. But the approach is not punitive. It’s constructive. Literally. Last week, an adoptive parent said that his…
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Math
The “attitude of war” is becoming all too familiar. The emotional rollercoaster in our pre-pre teens has began a while ago. We would be in denial not to acknowledge it. The difference is stark between a 5 years old and a 8 years old. Something triggers her. Maybe she didn’t sleep enough, or too much.…