Category: Parenting
-
Paying attention / Active listening
“She doesn’t seem to be interested in what I have to say.” Humans are self-centered and insecure. Some grow out of it. Most don’t. Jackie was telling me how some adults don’t pay attention. I am sure that she has been spoilt for choice and has had many adults hang on every word and engage…
-
Home economics
The Game: 10 lei a week (it’s not about the monetary value). Pay taxes, tithe, utilities, rent, see about some savings and how much money will be left over for spending. Usually barely enough for a croissant. On the chores chart: reading daily, homework, cleaning their room, their bathroom, set the table, clear the table,…
-
Disciplina postului
După întâlnirea momco din iris am hotărât sa încercăm o zi de post. Singura si de capul meu fac destule. Dar am vrut ca aceasta experiența sa fie împărtășită cu familia. Conrad a fost de acord fără nici o lămurire suplimentara. Pe ivy am întrebat-o si a răspuns prompt “ok, când?” Când i-am zis si…
-
lineage
I don’t wait for the girls to bring up adoption. I initiate. Intuitively I know when they are worked up about a curiosity and they also talk freely among themselves and don’t make a big deal out of it. The adoptive moms’ bookclub had a lot of questions about my approach. They asked if it’s…
-
white after darkness
When you have a busy social calendar, taking a few weeks off from seeing people feels heavenly. On the other hand, if you long for connection and crave socializing, staying home throughout some winter weeks feels exhausting and lonely. If it was just my husband and I, without any self imposed pressure to make the…
-
First birthday of the year
In the year of AI and other algorithms taking over social media, I don’t want to post any memento of my daughter’s birthday, but I want to comemorate it in writing. I seem to have misplaced my purple leather diary, so I will reflect here on a few thoughts about celebrating birthdays. I am not…
-
Fast turning tide
We are on top of the world. We have our health. We have each other. The course of life is steady. The kids are safe under our roof. The storm of adolescence hasn’t hit us yet. Their dependence is sweet and natural still. While they dare to brave the new beginnings, the grownup works, they…
-
-
Motivation
The multiplication table was taught last week. Every day the teacher moved to the next number up, and before they knew it, the 2nd grade students had to know it all by heart. In a week. Unrealistic. Though I was a step ahead and tried different tactics to see which will suit her better. Memorization…
-
Regret
I know better than to make grand gestures, or hasty decisions. And yet, here I was, talking with my daughters in the evening, trying a different approach to self-motivation, drive, responsibility, a steady course on self-management. We were looking at our habits, and my gentle nudging over time, picking up the slack here and there,…
-
Cunoașteți vreo persoana înțeleaptă?
Asta a fost întrebarea de deschidere din predica de azi de sfântul Andrei. E ultima duminica din noiembrie. E luna orfanului. S-a vorbit si de fundația pas cu pas. I-am cântat si lui Vasile la mulți ani. In drum spre casa Jackie care procesa cele auzite cu voce tare, a spus ca persoanele la care…
-
Emoții ca semnale
Am avut mereu încredere în emoțiile mele. Pentru ca nu le-am forțat din exterior și adulții au avut răbdare cu mine să mi le înțeleg când eram mica. Când mă întristez, mă îngrijorez sau mă enervez ca și mamă, ascult curioasă ce se întâmplă în interiorul meu. Și orice frică sau sentiment neplăcut își are…