This is the building I wandered through, knocking at multiple doors, looking to get information about adoption. My stomach was in knots, and I had a lot of pent up emotions. I left discouraged. But my feelings in this place have changed so much this year.

I browsed through the report and realized that this journey is not for the faint of heart. This document is thick and comprehensive, and it concludes the perusing through our lives, from childhood to marriage, through every aspect: sociologic, emotional, spiritual, financial etc. It freed up all kind of skeletons in the closet which I had to deal with, with tears, reminiscing and talking through. Luckily they were not overly scary. The thing is that I have developed an “avoidant” attachment style and I my heart of hearts “I have to” is deeply seeded. I didn’t even know these two were an issue until I looked at them as something I would tend to pass on. So reading this report I am impressed with the preparedness and eloquence of these state workers.

Today someone asked me how much did it cost the adoption so far. Well, just about a hundred dollars: the special medical evaluations, the notarized and translated documents and some printing.

There is a waiting period. But it does not compare with the physical discomfort of a growing stomach of a future mom – though many years I had daydreamed of sensing a life forming inside me. Today I’m grateful. Grateful for the uniqueness of our story, and we will make the very best of it.

I must restate how much I admire the small team of social workers and the psychologists serving the entire county of Cluj. They are good. Steady, fair, attentive, diligent and they work tirelessly in such a unique field. It is the only hub for this service. There is no competition or heavy evaluation. I admire the integrity with which they put their heart into it.

Yes, something happens when you let yourself be known in depth.