Social skills and little neighbors

Kids speak their mind. Most often is refreshing. But just as often it can be offensive.

I do feel that kids in the neighborhood crossed a line of familiarity and they can’t read any subtle signs of overstepping their boundaries. The way they speak, how they take what doesn’t belong to them.

On a few occasions I had to tell boys and girls to not barge into my house without an invitation. They practically pushed the door to pass by me. They were so shocked when I stopped them. Personal space with some of them is not a well defined concept.

Two little girls knocked at our door on a sunny day. Our neighbor and her cousin. They bad been playing with our youngest daughter all morning. They were looking for her and thought she went into the house. As they knocked our dog went wild barking. I answered politely that she is still out playing. They pushed into the door. And I reiterated she is not in the house. Their feet were passed my threshold. They were chatty. They asked about the dog and asked if they can play with him outside. He was not keen to go with kids. He doesn’t even like to go on walks with my daughters.

Conrad came. He answered politely as well, telling them ivy not Home and tried to close the door. “Ok, bye!” We did not invite them in (that’s creepy) and we didn’t offer them limonade or ice cream.

The girls met outside soon after and Ivy came running into the house, upset. She said she’ll never play with her neighbor girl again. Why? I asked her confused. “She said my dad is ugly.” It made me laugh. Probably because she didn’t call me ugly. Both girls discussed how Conrad’s shoes were the wild pattern yellow crocs. His pride and joy.

This girl that called conrad ugly talks too loud. Like the volume button is jammed. Ivy tries to compensate and she speaks too softly because she sees how difficult and exhausting it is to play with a yeller.

I don’t have the patience to be harassed by her questions the moment I pull into the driveway. I give short answers. I tell her to use a lower tone. And I don’t engage because it pushes me over the edge with anxiety.

The girls have kindly told her to speak softer but she doesn’t take gentle advice.
When I was trying to find out his Ivy hid hurt and she was yelling telling the story I matched her volume and told her to lower her voice, she looked at me in surprise. But she only a few times assaulted me with question just as I pulled into the driveway. I stay away instead of losing my patience with her.

Things got a bit sour since some incident among the kids. But though the girls play occasionally, they have more defined preferences and they speak their mind.
Yesterday though they told each other that they annoy the other-one’s dad.
Conrad said it’s true. He is annoyed by the loud boundryless kids.

We’ve gotten too close to the fire and got burned. Friendship without guidelines is dangerous. Kids push and tug. Parents get involved. I am mostly concerned about the lack of integrity. When we witness a bullying situation we shut our door not getting involved, glad it’s not us in the mix. But when we’ll be the one caught in the middle, as the kids become more independent from us, the times we judged from the sidelines will convict us.