Author: Violeta
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Practical skills
Miss J had 11 lei she carried around for a while in her handmade green leather wallet. On Monday she couldn’t buy anything from the three stores she visited with daddy. Not enough money? – you just don’t buy anything. Today she bought a candy from the grocery store and pants from a children’s store.…
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Book reading to kids in elementary school
Last Fall I started to volunteer once a week, at a Day Center. I usually do math homework with 5th to 8th graders. Preteens and early teens. I frankly started to love it early on, but even more so as I get to know them better. The other day, they couldn’t wrap their mind…
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O mamă pentru un copil
M-am bălăcit în autocompătimire, care a devenit mai intensă cu timpul. Odată ce mi-a sunat ceasul matern, fără o rezoluție evidentă la orizont, m-am simțit blocată și deznădăjduită. Ceva ce părea că ar trebui să fie așa de ușor, care li se întamplă tuturor, de ce nu mi se putea întampla mie? Ziua Mamei era…
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A mother to a child
I wallowed in self-pity. It gradually became more intense. Once my maternal clock started ticking, with no apparent resolution in sight, I felt hopeless and stuck. Something so seemingly easy, so abundant, why couldn’t it happen to me? Mother’s Day was hard. Hard because I didn’t want to rain on anyone’s parade, but I wanted…
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Ambitious & teachable
Never underestimate the ambition of an adoptee. Once they have taken a hold of a steady lifeline, even after they adapt to the good & predictable life, for better or worse they never loose that resilience, that keen awareness, the determination to survive, and to succeed. Yesterday Jackie got evaluated by four professionals to see…
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Parenting with an audience
“Do you ever yell at your kids?” I ask a good friend. “I do. But I yell mostly at home, in private.” She responds with disarming honesty which I love. When I see my parenting from from a far away perspective, it looks clever, funny and balanced. Except I often feel it’s not. For the…
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O viață. Dragoste, Respect și Adevăr.
Am aflat doar la sfârșit că Dana e mama unei femei care m-a mișcat profund prin iubirea și lumina exprimată în durerea văduviei. Dar nu despre asta a fost astăzi. Astazi ne-a fost reamintit neapologetic despre cât de provocatoare și încercată e căsnicia, mai ales în perioada preșcolară a copiilor. Ca să știm lupta efectiv,…
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Gaining control through letting go
It was a long day at kindergarten, as kids waited in the adjacent room during the parents-teacher conference at the end of the day. They were happy together. Lately they don’t want to say goodbye to each other. The twin boys kept saying that Jackie is coming home with them. Jackie has developed a steady…
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Be.
How many times have we heard someone tell us to be a certain way. To be something. To be someone. Be good! Be tough! Be a man! Be a nice girl! Be a woman! It is such an affront to our being. Even with the best intentions, the subliminal message is that we are not…
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The concept of money
Jackie is settling well into her age of five. There are bursts of energy and intelligence, of growth and exploration. We don’t do anything in particular to help her grow. We just create contexts, allow her freedom, we tease her with knowledge, leading by example. She started experimenting more and more. In the moment; it’s…
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Attachment
Not long ago, in the job description of the state employees who cared for orphans said to not get attached, and to not let the children get attached to them either. If the state employee disobeyed the written law and did what their heart moved them to do, that’s when they truly served the the…
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Adoption statistics
The extremely low percentage of adoptable kids among the institutionalized (1.5%) suggests a worrisome practice to maintain the kids in the system with the non-adoptable status. In 2016 the adoption law was amended. On paper much of it has improved, but the implementation of the changes is terribly slow. This is a huge machine familiar…