As we’ve prepared to become adoptive parents in this Romanian county, with a certain law governing the entire country, but with small and big adaptations per region, per county, we’ve built up anticipation. We wanted to adopt two children at once, thinking we can multitask, two is better than one, and they’ll also have play mates.

But as we dove into the reality of adoption, the challenges, the uniqueness of each child as individual, we are committed to trying to keep the integrity of our oneness in marriage. We accept that it will be challenging but with awareness, we are determined to incorporate children into our world and not be sucked completely into yet another world.

Two more weeks until our certificate of readiness is issued; a wonderful organization in a different county contacted me two days ago to ask where we are in the adoption process and if we are certified for one or more kids. They have four sister under the age of 5, and they are looking for one family for them, not wanting to separate the girls.

Shortness of breath, imagining how it would be, the challenges and excitement. I grew up with an older brother. My husband also had two sisters growing up. I don’t even know where to begin. Our home here can accommodate one, maybe two kids, and we would soon outgrow it. But four? We discussed it at length. And my brain is telling me that we are not ready for it. We have prepared emotionally to become adoptive parents, but not for fours kids at once. We will do mostly everything ourselves. My parents live close by, but they are a bonus, not a full time support. I grew up very independent, with wise, honest, supportive parents, but even as a child it felt like they are a bonus support, not a place where I can let go fully and completely, my whole body weight. I only felt that with God as an adolescent.

People have expressed their opinions, encouraging or discouraging, but at the end of the day, we are the parents who will run the race, day in and day out, and we ought to make the decision personally, fully aware and committed.

Who knows, maybe as we dip our toes into the waters of parenting, we will realize we are natural super-humans, and we will add within the first few years a few more to our number. But until then, wisdom and temperance is called into action.