True courage, maturity and leadership is to sit face to face with someone you disagree with, and truly listen, and be willing to change your mind. Not just give in (to avoid tension), or compromise your belief, but be willing to change your mind.
I paraphrase something that Barack Obama said a few weeks ago. And it made me think of parenting.
I have negotiated things with my 5 year old. I’ve listened to reason and gave her what she asked for, with flexibility and boundaries. And you know what? She respected her end of the bargain. And didn’t manipulate the same circumstances the following day or week. And I believe, just like I felt understood, heard, seen, she does too. And we build in her the confidence that she is loved well. Parents who are willing to change their mind are not weak, but strong and confident in their abilities and intuition.
Obama also stated that progress happens when people can find common ground. And common ground exists. He said. He’s seen it in 8 years of presiding the United states of America. It takes intelligence, common sense, listening, courage, humility… well, even with the most avid adversaries, in politics, common ground is proven to exist.
Though everything pales in comparison with Jesus, as Jesus not only found common ground. He found people where they were, and his love and Truth were so irresistible that only the stubborn and the otherwise blind, wouldn’t be changed, or persuaded to Life by him. But if we think: even Jesus didn’t change everyone. He let them be. His persuasion was brief, gentle, but sharp as an arrow.
The more I keep quiet, the clearer I see.
I admit I dread and avoid the internet trolls. The instigation to hate, the pointless banter. I don’t want to join their ranks.