How important is it to live fully and passionately? I find it to be a requisite for a rich, fruitful life.

For four and a half years I have been excited about my job. Most of the time it came natural, because I am passionate about technology and I love people. Most people I interacted with at work, and there have been thousands, were absolutely wonderful, smart, kind, polite, some quite captivating. The apple store lived up to it’s name as a legendary gathering place. And the technology we worked with, software and hardware, was always cutting-edge, spectacular. I gave it everything and it gave back a hundred fold. I have no regrets whatsoever. But I was spent – my motherly instincts and the deep inner desire to have a family with children started to surface. Priorities change and one simply can not have at all times have everything be a top priority: family, career, church, friends… It’s a dance of priority shifting which doesn’t have to be painful or dramatic. Much like in a leadership role, at different times projects take up more of your energy and attention, but that doesn’t mean you discard any one project over another.

Moving to Romania and slowing down drastically from 120 miles an hour to 5 miles an hour … though I suffered whiplash from coming to a halt. It was a much needed break. A break from full time technology. I couldn’t afford to not be on top of everything. Now I didn’t have to. Work is addictive.

And I stopped being fully immersed into something that demanded most of my attention and engagement. It was easy to be passionate about Apple. I admire their work ethic, they family values, the customer focus, and passion for perfection and attention to detail, the social values and the impact they have on the world.

In Romania we started from scratch. And the impact we felt like we were having was more of a disturbance than a building sense. Like we were going backwards, first demolishing with the hope of building something great. Daunting task if you ask me.
The most important thing we had to be aware is to not be dragged down by habits, pessimism, or “that’s the way we do things here” mentality.

As for the adoption journey, the long tedious path, the building anticipation, the understanding the phases and not letting discouragement seep in. We have looked at this decision objectively over and over, given the time we had to wait to even apply to become adoptive parents. Life is absolutely carefree. People say to enjoy the college days because they never come back. We’ve made decisions of frugality, of hard work, of lowering your head and work on the task at hand and not waste energy on what could be or could have been. My lifetime prayer has always been to never forget the Truth. And God’s rule over my heart to be my anchor. I have given permission, I have asked him to do whatever is necessary to bring me Home if I get distracted by the worldly allures.

Upon the move we dabbled with this and that, at time doing too much, at times doing things because they were necessary or we were needed. My grandma had a saying :”the appetite grows as you start eating”. You never know what you are passionate about if you never start anything and don’t give it an honest try.
My will is strong, and I am very cerebral – I can convince myself to be involved in almost anything. But the wise thing would be to be selective.

I heard a friend who out of the blue started carrying for 4 children in need of a home. She said that recently she started to pray for something to be passionate about, something to love with her whole heart, to keep her up at night. She had no idea that this is what God had in mind for her, but it sure fits the prayer 🙂 I think she is a miracle woman, about my age. Here is one of the ways she is changing the world. She has been called mom overnight, for one year by now, by these four kids:

I am entering the world of loving the orphans. I am gaining slowly more understanding of who God is, and his heart for humanity. I know it’s going to be challenging, but I believe the pain of growing stale would be a hundred times harder. We are oblivious to so much: we numb our pain, we shut our eyes, we push away any disturbance that may shake our world. There is complete joy, freedom and true happiness in giving and sacrificing. I am all in for that than for living for myself and my selfish enjoyment. This year, God willing, we will have Christmas with a child of our own.