Category: Family
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Failing
There must be a balance between taking care of family with warmth and presence and commitment, and the ability to empower them to grow mature and responsible. I was never pushed outside of my comfort zone too early. Some natural things in my family, like spending time at my grandmother as the eldest cousin, observing…
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The green season
The biggest blockage in learning and growing is blaming someone else for our discomfort, misfortune. We are dealt the cards we are dealt and we can play the game, adjust as we go, adapt, with courage and humility, with gratitude and poise. I have held my breath at times, often times, aware that my mood,…
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Worry about adulthood
“You know what keeps me up at night?” Jackie is on spring vacation and more chatty at home, more open, settled, and fun to be around. Even though she has a great social context at school, it puts her on edge often. Navigating social drama takes up so much of our kid’s energy. There is…
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Easter with family
We cleaned the terrace and I brought the round table in, to extend the large dining room table so it could fit us all together. Conrad cooked paprikas and baked corn bread. There was an abundance of food. I baked pocket cheesecakes and everyone was happy to enjoy a slow Sunday together. Recently I had…
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Words have power
I remembered, I felt how powerful a positive word spoken clearly in my mind can be.When have I stopped doing that? Why? I have lived in a fog. Dense. Sticky with sadness, tiredness. Then after clearing the film of silence off the topI could breath againAnd hearI listened to barely whispered questionsAnd received an answer.Not…
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Emotions
As a kid my mom embraced my tears. She let me cry. Ironically, her embracing my tears helped me get over them easier and faster. She would say: “let your tears flow. They cool you down. They cleanse your heart and mind.” I don’t overthink my tears. If I feel like crying, I cry. My…
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The fog has lifted
My own emotionsOut of my control.The emotions are not to be fabricatedBut observed,Processed and embraced.I want to feel brave and kind and generousI want to serve with endless energy But I am a limited human.And that is ok. After a few weeks of unhealthy airThere was a fog of pollutionAnd heavy still airFinally the wind…
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Pulling a tooth that wasn’t ready
Ivy has a million ideas, daring, dangerous.She tries things even when I tell her not toI explain why notI pleadI set boundariesTo no avail. She sometimes listensMost often she doesn’t Today I couldn’t see where she was when picking her upNadia told me she lost a toothand went to the bathroomThere was blood. She came…
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Change of routine
I’ve been too exhausted to plan a rest period. I didn’t know whom to turn to for respite. Home life demands my active involvement in every area. Occasionally I take a step back, but I hold my breath knowing it is only temporary. I keep going. Like a soldier. Tired to the bone but not…
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My resting hour
A month of finding my balance. A dry grey month. Cold. Sad. Depressing. I’m so glad February is over. We are a team but so often, every other day, in my quest to serve and provide, I look at my family and wonder if any of it is worth it. I race to serve to…
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Silent
I have danced an exhausting routine of wordsWisdom impartedCorrection and gentle nudgingWe have prayed and I have preachedI always had an answer and an explanationReading between the lines to what the question actually wasAnd kept one step aheadAnticipating needs knowing intuitively what they needAs I knew what they already knew themselves. Until one Sunday disagreement…
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Attachment
I have successfully fulfilled this essential needs for our kids.For 8 years respectively 5 years.Availability, guidance and connection. I was easily accessibleI could read between the linesAlways mediating, always there. Serving, feeding,Nourishing the mind and the body. As of late I felt more and more used.A punching bagA dumpsite for unpleasant emotions I feel the…