Kids become what we believe about them. So the challenge is adjusting our belief and our approach, to shape their character, their behavior, their self awareness.
When my kids were annoying, I stopped to notice what exactly bothered me, whether I was the problem, or if I could help shape their behavior.
I believed it’s imperative that overall I have to like my kids. I scrutinized the daily actions, mine and theirs, to find common ground. It is exhausting to live with someone you don’t like or someone who doesn’t like you. Kids will adapt but they will internalize the belief that they are unlikable. And feel no motivation to be better or do better.
If we think about our kids that they can change, they can learn, they can overcome, they will do all those. If we think they are annoying, burdensome, unpleasant … that is what they become.
And I have prayed that magical prayer: “I believe. Help my unbelief.” We see not through our eyes, but through God’s grace.