I did not give birth to my children, but with every conversation and day spent together, we shape their character, values and competence.
They accuse me of bias when I use overwhelming words of affirmation, and I praise them, or acknowledge how wonderful they are. But I never say things I don’t mean. Kind words slip out. And I think it’s important that they hear clearly the truth. Not let it just be implied. I also spare no feelings when I go straight to the point to corect them.
But they know how I feel about them and what I believe because of our daily interactions. Words sink in, weighted by truth and consistency.
I very much enjoy my daughters. They are a delight and a joy to have around. We seek each other’s company though sometimes Conrad doesn’t get it. How I can have so much fun with them? …chatting and sharing stories, dreaming about the future and reflecting on faith & emotions.
We alone would not be enough. When the girls were young my parents lavish love and soft boundaries made them feel powerful and loved in ways I couldn’t provide that kind of flexibility which was necessary as a complementary kind of love.
The same goes for teachers. They fulfill a specific role in their lives, in a complementary way. If kids come to school with a strong sense of self, discipline, respect, friendliness, confidence, they can acquire extraordinary knowledge in a school setting. But if the teacher doesn’t set ground rules, reinforced regularly with kindness & clarity, I think kids struggle more than we know.
And the role of Sunday school teachers is paramount. They were for me, at least. Because I felt their mentorship being given freely and with faith and extraordinary kindness and clarity. Hearing Jaclyn tell me about the conversations she has every Sunday with her 6-7 graders and their revolving teachers, I’m so thrilled. She also gives them a run for their money. Proverbially. She asks direct questions and has brilliant insights. I think she keeps them in their toes, and makes them laugh and makes them think deeper about apparently simple topics. She is one of a kind.
Ivy is still in the polite observing stage. Inclusive and kind, and her contributions which a rare they surprise through their depth. I look forward to the impending changes in the next year, as I hope our official request to move her to the parallel class will be approved.
Kids may socialize differently but they didn’t have a clear direction in inclusivity and team building, taking turns and social etiquette. In three years they learned to survive with whatever reserves they brought from home.
May this summer be a good respite and resorting of priorities.