Yes, parenting a three year old is exhausting, yet we do it with glee, one day at a time.
Last night we had to return Jaclyn again to the foster parents’ house, 45km of windy semi-good road. Jaclyn gets car sick. So this in itself is a challenge. The foster parents tell me that when she first realized that she gets car sick (she had no need to travel outside the village) she would cry murder when she needed to get into the car. She is very reasonable now that she has turned 3 (as I say this I see the irony in the maturity of this age), and is willing to give it another try every day we have to drive to Cluj.
Jaclyn is very independent. I have said this before, but I have seldom seen a child her age who is so balanced, coordinated and capable. Rufus for example pulls like a bull when going on walks, especially if he all of a sudden sprints towards Linda, the other dog. By accident we dropped his leash occasionally. Not Jaclyn. She held on for dear life. She was even pulled down. She got up, brushed herself off and kept going.
So last night as we had to drive back, I told her I’ll hold her in my arms like a baby so she can sleep on the back roads of the villages at night. She loved it! With a huge grin, she got comfortable in my arms and fell fast asleep for an hour.
This driving back and forth is an ordeal. 800 km total a week is a long drive. But we believe that by next week she will be here full time. Wednesday we have the 3rd official meeting with the social workers and our assigned psychologist to evaluate the progress of her attachment. And next Monday we have scheduled the last mandatory meeting when ALL the officials in this process will pay a visit to our home to see her in her new environment, our home, her home. Acasa.
I was talking with Conrad about their openness or suggestion to draw things out. Like dating… No need to rush into things. Take your time. Evaluate, think it over, enjoy the distance, enjoy the journey. But this is not how Conrad and I function. When we dated, because we had the time and flexibility, we speed-dated every day. But it was rich and real. We were truly building a foundation, though slightly too efficient for everyone else’s taste.
Having met her, knowing she is so close, scheduling to spend time with her every 5 days, just to make it easy, doesn’t seem right. Doesn’t seem natural to us.
As Conrad said, this must be a very confusing time for her, going back and forth. But I trust the leaders of this program, as they course correct and adapt and have seen these transitions hundreds of times.
The daily talking is taking a toll on me but I adapt as well. I communicate everything, I explain, I persuade, I repeat properly what she says when she shows me things. On top of that, I repeat the actions Conrad says or does, in Romanian. And the crazy thing is that, while we can’t see the full effect of helping Jaclyn to become bilingual, Conrad has learned more Romanian these past two weeks than in the first 7 years of our marriage. Last night he carried on a conversation perfectly with the guy who put fuel in our car, about life, about moving to Romania etc. I’m quite impressed.
Life is a rodeo and we hold on tight.
