The Shifting Coffee Grounds of Our Life

I have this morning ritual. I’ve been curating it carefully for the last nine-and-a-half years, and I it’s become second nature to me now. I get out of bed, walk to the kitchen and go through the motions of making coffee and heating up a little bit of milk for Vio and myself, then, when the coffee is ready, Vio wakes and we drink our coffee in peace or in quiet conversation. It’s really a peaceful way to start the day and very little of it has changed in a long time.

I can already hear the parents out there laughing.

The truth is, this coffee ritual has already been changed recently. About a year ago, we adopted a puppy, which we have spoiled rotten, and who now takes priority over coffee. I or Vio gets up and takes Rufus out to pee and a short walk, and then we proceed with caffeination.  It’s changed our routine, but not by much. Rufus is generally self-sufficient and just lays around for most of the day.

As I sat on my chair enjoying my coffee this morning in silence, I recognize that it may be one of the last times I’m able to do this in a long time, but even though this time is great for reflection and taking in the coming day, I’m excited about the coming change. Two weeks ago, we received a call (while we were having coffee) that the system had paired us with a little girl. Against all expectations and despite what we had been told, for some reason we had been bumped up the list ahead of all of the other people waiting for a child and been paired with a little girl about to age out of our requested age range (in a matter of days).

We met her that day and fell in love immediately. Our lives had just changed forever. Over the past two weeks, we have driven almost an hour each way to visit Jaclyn and spend a few hours or bring her home for the day and play with her at home. We have been to her third birthday party, played with legos, taken Rufus out for walks, and had meals together. When we talk with the social workers, they say that the stage we are at with Jaclyn is where most couples are at a few months of contact, and they can’t believe that we’ve connected so thoroughly and so quickly.

They told us yesterday that they want to schedule the last two meetings in the next week to prepare for her to move in with us permanently. We had been hoping that we would be lucky if she was to move in with us by the end of the year for a family Christmas, but now it looks like we’ll already be settled in.

So now, as I drink my coffee, I ruminate on the coming changes with excitement. I can count on two hands the last days of quiet mornings of peaceful coffee, but I prefer to count down to the days until she arrives home.