For a few years I haven’t felt the importance of Friday. But since Jackie, since we got (re)acquainted with kindergarten, I feel again the joy and the burden of the end of the week. Parents know why. 

Today I took Jackie out earlier from kindergarten and we went swimming. Instead of her taking a nap at school, we both swam, like to ducks longing for water.  

This week she slept only two days at kindergarten. A struggle. And I thought I shouldn’t torture those poor ladies there, who had to sit and negotiate with her, to settle down. She loves kindergarten. But she doesn’t want to / can’t sleep after lunch anymore. Simple. And if she finally takes a nap during the day, going to bed at night is troublesome. She falls asleep after ten, when otherwise she is already snoring before eight.

Two years ago swimming saved us both. When I’m in the water I am happier myself, and more relaxed. I laugh wholeheartedly. I’m glad and I delight in her, her faces, energy and actions. At home, in a limited and more rigid space, we end up quarreling. Don’t do this, don’t do that, calm down! Kinds have enough energy to run ten miles every day. So we need to spend time outside, go dancing or swimming. 

Now Jaclyn is independent in deep waters. And thus we use up our energy in the winter. Swimming indoors. We exercise, we become stronger and we relax all in the same time. What other bigger joy than this! It’s a small price $50 a month with unlimited access for both of us at the pool next to the kindergarten. We always need and take a break after a swimming month.

So these days I run figuratively. I meet people, old and new. I share what’s in and on my heart. I speak with and out of passion, I share. I have entered a new stage. 

After I moved to Romania, for a while I had the feeling that I lost myself. But I am returning to the essence and I rediscover myself, renewed, refreshed, reinvented and most especially alive. Alive through Faith. 

There is an American saying stating that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. For a while I was afraid that there is nobody here to see me. Though Conrad thinks I hung up the moon. And his love is enough. But our artist hearts seek validation, even if not purposefully so, we still search for it. Are we relevant? Are we contributing? 

These long winter months, with a preamble of friendship that soothed my soul, old and yet new, in which I rediscovered that I have a voice, with the Bambi moms, I regained courage.  The four of us. An impulse with Spirit. A type of home. 

From one thing to another, I wrote a book and I spoke bravely about it. Though I don’t think we reached the destination yet. There is a lot more to say, to do, to move, to transform. I’m just getting into my own skin. 

And I am absolutely fascinated by the new discoveries. Extraordinary people who feel and see like me, people who love Christ, each with their own talent and with their passion. People of mission, visual artists, culinary artists, people with music in their veins. 

The biggest and most delightful surprise is that I am not alone. I was never alone. I simply walked forth with determination. Because God called me so. And I answered. With joy and love.