So many questions and such a long journey. I haven’t met any child, didn’t do anything spectacular, but this week I have felt emotionally spent. Today was the last full day of training. We had two families stop by with their adopted boys, both around 2 years old. Both had adopted within the last year. They answered all our questions and told us stories about their adoption journey. I was impressed with the involvement of the dads, the honesty and genuine charm of these families – there is something special about this kind of love we witnessed in these families.

Up ahead are a few more meetings with our social worker. And early July we will have our certificate. But just another stage is commencing, of being matched with a child. And as the lady put it this morning, “we are not in the business of finding children for parents, we are in the business of finding parents for children.” Based on a child’s profile, the system matches him/her with ten sets of parents, ordered in a list based on proximity and how long they’ve been certified for. The first parents on the list read his/her file and history and can agree to move forward with meeting the child, or decline at that time.

Then, within 3 days the parents will meet the child in his current environment. After the first meeting the parents can decide if they want to move forward with the adoption progress. You have to feel something – an attraction, a pull, and not just move forward out of guilt. This will be a delicate time …how will you know! I can only pray that God will bring our way the child he has prepared for us.

There will be a familiarization period of a few weeks up to a few months. During this time we will visit the child at his foster home. Play with him, take him to the park, feed him, later on bring him home during the day and slowly taking over daily responsibilities. Take him to the doctor for medical appointments or to daycare etc. There will be one more turning point: entrusting the child into our home for 90 days, monitored through home visitations every 2 weeks. This is done with a court decision. After 90 days the social worker assigned to our case recommends that the adoption can be completed. And after that a judge reissues a birth certificate with a new name and us as parents. The child’s file stays sealed until the child turns 18. If/when they want to learn about their birth parents, they make a petition at the court to gain access to the file. They are then counseled first about what it could mean to know more and meet the birth family. After that, they are given full access to their past – names, history, places.

Most children adapt very fast, faster than their adoptive parents. They grow by leaps and bounds once they find home: they feel loved, accepted and protected, and their basic needs are met.

In a nutshell 🙂