Wait for the Lord

“but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.”

Isaiah 40:31

Most translations use the wrong word. It’s not merely hope or trust. WAIT is something we all do or have to do. So for me, this one word changes everything.

“Only one requirement is specified here: waiting on the Lord. This expression implies two things: complete dependence on God and a willingness to allow him to decide the terms. To wait on him is to admit that we have no other help, either in ourselves or in another. Therefore we are helpless until he acts. By the same token, to wait on him is to declare our confidence in his eventual action on our behalf.  Thus waiting (qāwâ) in Hebrew is not merely killing time but a life of confident expectation.”

John Oswalt
I have been grieving for a few years
And I didn’t even know it. 

Bouts of sadness, of despair
Of loneliness and pleading with God…
It was a long lesson to learn 

I have abandoned my heart to Him
I entrusted my dreams in His hand as well

But that feeling that nobody really understands 
Nobody could, 
Left me feeling so alone still.

Until we had to wait one more time
on the cusp of our dream coming true
Our youngest daughter coming home. 

Our ache. Our longing so familiar.
 - Powerlessness. 

Without having to explain myself 
I felt completely understood.
My pain of two years.

On the surface 
everything seems so normal

Nothing hurts 
- no deaths, no war outside our door. 
Morning and evening come and go,
Nature follows its course.

But at the same time,
The whole world longs
to See and Hug their loved ones
The whole world is in essence
isolated and powerless.

It is a dangerous place to be in
To feel that nobody understands 
what you’re going through
And nobody cares to understand

It turns out we push each other away 
Because we don’t know
how to talk about our pain
What is there to further talk about?
What is the point?
We suffer in silence 
We don’t like pity
We retreat in our shell. 
And we wait. 

At times I’ve waited well
- waiting on the Lord
In confident expectation
- renewing my strength
But I’ve waited impatiently too. 

So many different layers.
Yet God waited patiently on me as well. 

There is friendship beyond isolation; 
There is love and acceptance in silence.